Schroedingers2c

I worked hard and got into one of these prestigious universities for my Masters, but grew up lower-middle class, on the countryside, in a not very healthy environment.

Having seen it first-hand, I can only agree. There's so much privilege at these institutions, it's almost sickening sometimes. I don't want to throw everyone in one pot, there's certainly genuine, decent people there. But there is so much self-importance and arrogance floating around, and just this casual and unquestioned attitude of superiority.

What I do want to say is that pretty much everyone I met there had a base-level above average smartness and/or work ethic. But I also mostly hung out with STEM people. Didn't get to know many managerial or related types.

It's remarkable how almost every serious incident due to equipment errors in the past few months involves a Boeing aircraft rather than an Airbus.

Will revisit this in a couple months.

Thanks for the link! Looks very interesting on a first skim.

Even if the probability for this to succeed is really really small, there's a good chance it will happen when you have billions of years time and idk how many orders of magnitude (10^40? 10^50?) of atoms/molecules constantly interacting.

With their cash-pile they could have even rented a private plane just to test the Vision Pro on a plane and make sure it's a good experience.

I see use cases for business. Using HoloLens / Vision Pro / AR instead of sending your engineers to Tokyo.

But for consumers? I mostly agree. It has a few nice gimmick features, but seems rather isolating and disrupting natural human interaction.

I agree to some degree. I am finishing up my PhD at the moment and have had this below-surface feeling that following this path is inherently selfish for a while.

Choosing to go into research means your career choice is entirely determined by what you are most interested in, what you are passionate about, what you want to spend your day thinking about. I feel like the benefit to society is often secondary in that choice. It's nice that often science benefits humanity as a whole, but often it also doesn't and is just obscure niche research.

And indeed, the relational sacrifices that come with a (high ambition) career in science are IMO not worth it. I would not recommend anymore to pursue some abstract high brow principle like "the pursuit of knowledge" over deep, loving, healthy, sustainable relationships with people to a young ambitious person. People are more real than principles.

Ideally you can combine it of course. But the academic job market is not easy and rarely allows this without significant friction.

I am 99% sure I will leave academia after my PhD. Not for the this reason per se, but it appears in the equation. The relational aspect is a big part, though.

Yes.

Including work-related things. Anything you do because of your job (including core work, emails, chatting with someone about work and stuff like that; but excluding e.g. coffee-chat with a colleague about non-work related things, surfing web about non-work related things and stuff like that).

- Nepotism

- A high proportion of people from privileged backgrounds

- The academic publishing process (although this has gotten better over the years with more open access). But in traditional, and usually more "esteemed" journals, you pay to submit your work (want it open access? Please pay 9500€! That is no joke, this is Nature's open access fee.), you peer-review others' papers for free ("service to the academic community"), and then you pay to read articles (or your university does). The journals profit. With insane margins.

- It happens that you discuss the same problem, in the same way, saying almost the same sentences many times over the span of months/years. The feeling of running in circles is very common and I find it exhausting.

- Senior people can hold an extreme level of power over the careers of more junior people. You're so specialised that it can happen that there are just like 5 other places on the world where your kind of research happens. You don't want to move away, but still want tenure? You're at the complete mercy of your group leader.

- Being almost expected to move around every 1-3 years as a postdoc when you're in your late 20s / early 30s. This can be very enriching and you see the world and meet many diverse people, but can also be very isolating and depressing depending on your personality and how well your location fits you. And is very rough on relationships.

I don't know if there is any data on this (I would be really interested!), but anecdotally I would agree. I see high avoidant/anxious/ADHD traits in many colleagues and fellow researchers. In my field certainly way above average levels of the general population.

And I myself am a bit guilty of becoming so competitive and entering grad school partially because of unresolved issues.

As a final year PhD student I wholeheartedly agree with this.

That alone makes it very rough to keep up the high level of motivation. And then add the other quirks of academia on top of that.

Thanks for the elaborate advice!

Yep... Thanks for the advice!

Thank you!

Thank you!

I do, I'm in decent shape and am determined to go to the gym every single day for the foreseeable future to get ripped.

Interesting, thanks!

Thanks! Yep, I am in shape and have been working out on-off, but am determined now to go to the gym every single day for the foreseeable future to get ripped.

Thanks!

Thanks for the advice!

Thank you, appreciate your kindness! Good luck on your journey as well!

Thanks! "Agency" hits it. I often feel like I'm a passenger in my own life, like it's just passing by in front of my eyes like a movie. Like I'm this small entity sitting in my brain just observing what's happening.

I am planning to take out a few months after the PhD to do something crazy. Like hike New Zealand top to bottom, or US east to west road trip or living a couple months in a small Italian seaside town or Pacific island to decompress from society, or become truly conscious about our society (visit all the places that support our society like waste plants, sewers, drinking water plants, electricity plants, farmers, distribution centres, ports, mass food production centres, clothing factories, oil refineries, paper factories, etc.).

Thank you for the thoughtful response and empathy! The second paragraph pretty much hits the nail.

I've been analysing, dissecting, journalling my upbringing for the past 10 years and have made substantial progress I would say. But mostly on a cognitive level and on a level of being able to understand that it was not normal/healthy. I'm not so sure about the level of emotions / truly internalising. I realised over the past year that I cannot fully heal alone, so I finally looked out for therapists (after pushing it away for months). Many books/articles/videos/podcasts about psychology, narcissistic parents, CPTSD as well as discussing everything with my siblings (we are 4) have helped validate my/our feelings and enabled me/us to understand. I've already read several books other commenters suggested. On a deeper level I still feel a bit broken, low self-esteem, passive / somewhat avoidant, daydreaming about being a hermit in a forest, full of self doubts, unsure who I am, etc. very often.

I hope therapy will lead to some breakthroughs on that level and, yeah, I will make sure I'll try to find a good fit.

Thanks and hope you're ok!

Thanks, and I emphasise with you! It's hard to come to terms with the fact that all these beautiful plans and hopes just, poof, disappear. And not just those, also the security, comfort and vitality of a really great relationship.

I did reach out a lot to some friends and family, and am gathering plans on how to improve/build myself. But yeah, it's hard. At the moment I'm still completely uninterested in meeting other women, even just for hookups.

Thanks for the reminder. This is one of the things I "know" but have not fully internalised yet I think.

Yeah this is kind of what I have planned.

Thanks for the encouragement!

Well said, thank you!