ownerthrowaway

In some ways I enjoy English teaching, but I don't think there is any career progression. I don't think I could ever really get paid any more really than I am now. I don't think I could ever really support a family etc.

I feel quite ashamed of being an English teacher too. Whenever I meet someone at a party I always say I'm a software engineer, even though I know that's not really true.

When I write my resume I just don't write the months on so it appears I was working at the companies for 1 year instead of 2-6 months. That way I can claim I wasn't an English teacher.

Thanks for the invitation, I would love to take you up on it but Tokyo is a long way away from where I live.

I've actually had multiple freelance contracts locally but I've never managed to do any of them really. I had one making a business database of properties for a realtor where I couldn't make any progress and just stopped contacting them. I want to email them to apologise but I can never bring myself to do it.

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. I definitely think part of me was thinking "I can't get motivated but once I start the company all of it will fall into place."

I've thought about moving back to the UK to develop my career. The two things that hold me back are the accrued residence time in Japan (I've been here 7 years, if I stay another 3 I can apply for permanent residency). I'm also not convinced I would be able to hold down a programming job, given my past performance. At least in Japan I can teach English part time and keep a roof over my head. I've been doing a couple of evenings of evening classes for the past 5 years and they give me some sort of financial safety net.

1. I came here after graduating college and really liked living here, so I stayed.

2/3. I've had three so far. The first one was a startup (I was an employee) that ran out of money. The second I spent 6 months working there but I couldn't concentrate on the work and couldn't produce anything. I don't think I committed any lines of code in 6 months. I was ashamed of my performance and quit right after renewing my visa. The third job I was there for 2 months. I felt even more pressure after doing poorly at the previous job. I felt so confused even when just setting up the environment. I barely managed to do anything in 2 months and used to just hide in the toilets sobbing. I felt ashamed and couldn't handle it anymore so I quit.

4. Foreigners have lots of trouble getting apartments etc in Japan. If I just pack a suitcase and get on a plane leaving everything here in the lurch I'd feel bad because it has effects on other people.

5. Maybe 40k?

I put in 50k because that is what is needed to get a business manager visa. Right now it is sitting in the company account. I'm sure I could get some of it back if I closed the company.

Thanks for your advice and your experience. I have an accountant but he doesn't speak English. I feel anxious contacting him. Realising how much he is costing me (about 3200 USD a year) is one thing that set me off.

I read in some of your past posts about how your accountant needs to fit your business. I think I made a bad choice of accountants. He works very much on paper and can't understand why I'm not going to visit clients etc. I very much feel like we're talking at cross purposes.

I've been going to counseling and I found it very helpful. I started going when I couldn't handle my past job. They gave me the advice that maybe I was more suited to working for myself than working for a company. I usually feel very good after visiting them but it quickly wears off.