Comment by ownerthrowaway | Hacker News Reader

Comment by ownerthrowaway | Hacker News Reader

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1. I came here after graduating college and really liked living here, so I stayed.

2/3. I've had three so far. The first one was a startup (I was an employee) that ran out of money. The second I spent 6 months working there but I couldn't concentrate on the work and couldn't produce anything. I don't think I committed any lines of code in 6 months. I was ashamed of my performance and quit right after renewing my visa. The third job I was there for 2 months. I felt even more pressure after doing poorly at the previous job. I felt so confused even when just setting up the environment. I barely managed to do anything in 2 months and used to just hide in the toilets sobbing. I felt ashamed and couldn't handle it anymore so I quit.

4. Foreigners have lots of trouble getting apartments etc in Japan. If I just pack a suitcase and get on a plane leaving everything here in the lurch I'd feel bad because it has effects on other people.

5. Maybe 40k?

I feel like points 1 + 2/3 are in pretty stark contradiction to each other, honestly speaking. Work is a pretty important part of life (if one must work that is). It's clear that you're finding the work culture there dispiriting and uncongenial.

If I were you I'd get my money out and take an extended trip home (if that is possible for you). You're worrying about other people at a time when you need more care than they do - after all "they" are a pure abstraction let's face it.

To put it simply: Put on your own oxygen mask first.

On points 2/3, have you found a community of like-minded people (likely expats)? It pales in comparison, but I moved from somewhere where I had a tight-knit community to one where I was a hermit and found it very demotivating. Talking to other people about our work and interests helped me get out of my slump. This is not a substitute for seeking professional help, but a complement that worked for me. It sounds like the HN Tokyo meetup (if you live in Tokyo) or reaching out to many of the replies here from people living in Japan would be a good place to start.

Since you ever only worked professionally in Japan, perhaps it's time for a change and try out other places. Especially a place where language barrier won't hinder you.

Sounds like you're still relatively young, go out on a new adventure. Don't be constraint in one place, you can always go back to Japan someday.

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