118 karma · joined January 14, 2011
I’m 47 now and I completely understand. Over time, I realized that there was life outside of work. Kids were actually fun to hang around, and my wife is my best friend. Not my job, and not my coworkers, the wife I chose to spend time with actually is fun to spend time with.
I get what Alexandr is saying, I really do. Except for the CEO bit, I had the same world view 25 years ago. And it’s a good world view for that age. However life will change, our experiences will broaden, and I feel he will probably have a completely different idea 20 years from now.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/apr/25/guantanamo-fil...
http://s1.q4cdn.com/714383399/files/doc_financials/annual/20...
Don't get me started on sending ASCII as binary to the mainframe to compensate for the EBCDIC formatting. Or the lack of carriage return and line feed characters that cause so many fun issues.
All of that to say that none of it's pretty, but all of it works. The balancing is key as are the extra staff needed to verify them against each other.
Right now is the worst. I made a list of work I need to do today, but none of it was very stimulating. So I opened up Hacker News, saw this article, and have been on this for close to an hour now. In that time, I've read it and a lot of comments (Jordan's comments being my favorite so far). I've decided to try Todoist as suggested by the author, so I've set that up. I already know that I'm going to fall away from it like I do every other organizational method (Evernote, Keep, Kanban varieties, physical notebooks), so a little mini bit of negativity has set in. And now all I want to do is get up from my desk, and run around to see how my employees are doing. I have 60 of them, so that could take awhile. And before I know it, I've done nothing but read about ADHD and talk about the weekend all day.
I really bash myself for these periods of the day. I feel like I'm wearing a sign on my forehead that says "Brian hasn't done anything for 4 hours!" And that sign would be true. On the flip-side when a problem comes along, I'm all over it. I'll work night and day to get it done. I'll do so to the short term detriment of relationships, but I'll solve it. If I have constant interesting problems flowing in, I look like a working machine. If I just have boring redundant work like dealing with employee "time cards" or invoices, it takes all day to get to it, and I look like I'm day-dreaming or lazy.
It's now an hour and 15 into this sidetrack. So I think I'll go get some water, walk around, and maybe sit back down and get some work done before 9am. I'll have to or else I won't get anything done. I have to attend 3 meetings in a row where I'm listening and not speaking. If you are ADHD, you know how that's going to go.
That all seems so easy sitting here in my air conditioned office and not having experienced anything in her life. I'm sure it's far more complicated than that.
From a personal perspective, you are not alone. While some have pointed out "that's why they call it work", there are others of us that have felt that crushing weight and know something isn't quite right in a future full of that experience. It's normal to feel that way from time to time. It's abnormal to feel that way day in and day out. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a mental issue. It could just be that you are only 20 and you might be finding out really early that this career path isn't for you. Regardless, please do take some time to seek out a professional and openly discuss it.
What a lot of people don't understand is that a friend who might be considering suicide doesn't need to be "fixed", or to be given a bunch of quick solutions, or worse to be told "just get over it". What they need is someone who is willing to listen without passing judgement. And if necessary, to provide that friend guidance in getting to a safe place where those with experience can provide care.
For disclosure, I am not a trained counselor. I've had various, very short, training sessions for several close friends and relatives so that I would know what to do, and more importantly what not to do or what not to say.
I had Webmaster tools and Analytics on site, so after the ban I could still research backwards, and could not find anything that was out of the ordinary other than the CTR was just a bit higher.
Eh, it seems this is still a bit of a sore subject for me. I lost a good bit of income from this decision, and it hurt at the time. Looking back, I'm glad I don't gain income from this any longer. It just seems like a scam. I started out using my websites as a place to teach and inform and the different subjects I have knowledge and interests in. But trying to blend keywords in so that Google and the other ads I ran could get high quality "eyeballs" on my content really became an inauthentic experience.
None of scenarios can diminish just how awful this is of course. There are some things you can get wrong on that envelope that are bad, but not really livelihood threatening. This is life changing for a huge number of people I'm sure, and the companies involved should be held accountable for the breach.