To purport that these people drive cars and ride scooters in the same manner is unfair. Same with bicyclists - I witness dozens of them running stop signs and red lights every single day. Can't imagine they do the same in cars.
Absolutely they do. Not all of them, and it's officially an overcrowded market. There's a large range of what an influencer is, what he/she does, who his/her audience is, and, most importantly, how he/she is promoting your thing. But to assume that the average human being does not do things because others do them, doesn't desire to be someone different, and is in full control of his/her mind, is nothing short of foolish.
Besides the great references others have made here, I'll add that you need to have a certain mindset when watching movies that you -choose- to analyze for deeper meaning. Often I'll get there on a 2nd / 3rd watch. More often I'll need a little help from online research. The Leftovers (HBO 3-season series) is a great example. I watched it twice, then sat down and just wrote about it. To myself. Things came out that I didn't expect, then I researched what others were saying online. That introduced new wormhole to explore.
Couldn't reply to your most recent reply so I'm doing it here:
> Managing one's mind, or ridding oneself of desire, and especially dealing with reality without bias or judgement, are just not terribly realistic in nature. We should certainly strive to deal with reality without bias or judgement for instance, but, I mean, we obviously don't do that in practice.
From that point of view, I get how you're looking at this. You're certainly not wrong. I'm likely letting my own bias color my thoughts here because I practice this more aggressively (and actively) than most. So I've seen how realistic it can be. But generally speaking it's not very realistic, you're right.
> dealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations.
That's the definition. What I outlined - granted, without the specific action steps - is sensible and realistic. And it distinctly is not about happiness. Romantic would be "just be happy." Would you consider behavioral therapy romantic?
Edit: I'm really hoping you guys aren't saying that anything involving a person managing their mind/emotions is romantic and impractical.
Well, unless I'm wildly misreading it, the quote I attached to my post calls out a very stark judgment on people's perceived sufferings. Specifically, the "no one can be dismissed for their misery..." line.
It is pragmatic in execution. Taking active steps to understand and manage the way your mind works, deal with reality without bias or judgment, and relieve yourself of attachments and desires that cause suffering is about as pragmatic as you can get.
Of course, we agree there. Re: your final sentence, what I'm actually saying here is that this version of "kindness" may be actively harming some people in the long run. But because humans are generally bad at long-term thinking, we follow our instincts (i.e. "make this person feel immediately better any way possible in this immediate moment"). So, "kindness" isn't necessarily kind in these situations. Your desire to help is betrayed by your mind. Your actions are harmful. Think about that.
> but really I've internalized the idea that everyone is living a life less than what they hoped their life would be to various extents and that there is also a near infinite combination of ways to achieve this effect such that no one can be dismissed for their misery in any respect without also dismissing the "legitimate" misery of a wide swath of people.
There's a downside to this logic, one of the enabling sort. I consider myself fairly empathetic, but with a very pragmatic tint. I find many, many people take on complaining and a victim/underdog status with an almost hobby-like approach. And I watch how others react, which is exactly as expected: sympathy, attention, allowing those complainers a way out of personal responsibility or true introspection (specifically into their role in managing reactions to external events). It's a never ending cycle. And it hardly ever promotes growth. And almost never results in true happiness (happiness is probably the wrong word...maybe contentedness is better, tho maybe not).
So, the same way you wonder about those people who "dismiss others' concerns," I wonder about those who kowtow to others' words and fail to consider the reality (perceived, of course) behind them. It often feels lazy to me. And short-term thinking. Truly caring about another person sometimes means forsaking short-term "feel goods" for long term growth.
This point also confirms my relativity of perception thoughts. Yes, compared to me, the bottom 50% certainly has more adversity. But why stop there? The bottom 50% in America is likely the top 20% somewhere else (I'm making all of this up, of course). Then the bottom 50% of that 20% is likely the top 1% somewhere else. And on and on it goes.
I don't believe that thinking about nameless, faceless people thousands and thousands of miles away is particularly effective at altering daily behavior and mindset here, but it's important to recognize nonetheless.
Absolutely agree. I think everyone understands the relativity of perception when discussing "how hard things are" but that doesn't mean they put it into daily practice. It's very easy to get caught in your bubble.
I have another point of view here - there's power in overcoming adversity. Nearly every movie produced tells you that. But your average American doesn't face real adversity anymore. We are extremely comfortable. Extremely safe. But there's something inside us that needs this adversity, it needs to triumph, to overcome challenges. This is why we run marathons, punish ourselves in the gym, climb mountains. Some of us, at least. Most of us don't. So, we make up these stories in our minds. These fake enemies, these challenges-in-perception-only. If we can convince our social circles that these adversities are real (even absent the reality of ever actually experiencing them), well, we've put ourselves in a better place. We're victims. We're fighters. We're warriors!
That's a bit reductionist and dramatic, but when you cut through the bullshit, this is happening every single day around us. Nobody wants to admit how easy their life is, how very rare actual, significant adversities are. It's part of human nature. For the time being, at least.
This, this, this. So many people who are not well versed in advertising (the art, not the tech) simply launch a bare minimum campaign, for some reason expect great returns, then blame the tool. It's completely illogical. There are many components to an ad campaign, from targeting to what's being advertised to creative to copy (and the thousands of variations within each) to ad type...and so on.
Got married at 38, first kid coming at 40. Had nothing to do with debts and all that other stuff; I chose to live out my wild years to full satisfaction and natural completion.
Many are not real, that's part of the point of all these stories (don't ever evaluate an "influencer" by number of followers displayed). The other part is that with the barrier so damn low for "influencers" to sell their "merch" to their "communities," it's a saturated market, especially for those who don't bring anything special to the table.
Was likely one of their earlier users, been on the platform for more years than I can remember. It's simple to use and covers all the basics for digital marketers who don't have time to wait for internal design resources to free up. Business cards, CPC ads, banners, etc. I just finished designing a 15-page downloadable PDF in it. Oh, and I only just upgraded to a pay account; been using it free for many many years.
This is fucking beautiful. At the same time it makes me a little sad to work at a desk, hidden from all the people my work impacts. In a city and time where neighbors keep their heads down when they pass each other and all the mailpersons wear headphones.
I think calling it "unfair" is, well, unfair. There are thousands of "unwritten" rules in this world that exist for a bunch of reasons. If you don't pick up on obvious social cues, then you'd likely feel some sort of way about the result, and you'd likely be more aware next time to avoid that feeling. That process is necessary in this world. It sharpens you. It forces you to grow and adapt and learn new skills.
The world is depressing? That's obviously subjective. There's nothing special about me or my circumstances and the only way I can label the world as depressing is if I choose to see it that way, consciously or not. A lot of what you outlined above is purely your mind fucking with itself, because those things, quite literally, are not reality. By no means do I think it is an entirely fruitless endeavor to consider the future, but anyone who lets that lead them into anything negative - nevermind life altering - has themselves to blame.
Rarely do we ask ourselves how short-term conveniences may harm us in the long run. Chores are important. Discomfort is important. Mild annoyances are important. Physically moving is important. Focusing on unexciting things is important.
I always giggle at the concept that Reddit is anti-corporate, because they are the easiest people to advertise to if you do it correctly. Generally speaking, they already pre-assemble into groups that are very often themed by patronage to the Corporate Gods (marvel, GoT, video games, whatever), and it becomes their entire identity.