user-extended

Thank you for your kind words, I'm sad you also had to overcome a lot in life to get to the point you're at, and the physical injury part really saddens me to my core. I need to go to sleep, but I'd be glad to talk and share experiences over email. Thank you!

Wow, thanks a lot!

I will look into your comment in detail tomorrow, need to go to sleep.

Thank you for your reply, I need to go to sleep so I'm gonna be brief: I'm very glad to hear you've been able to turn your life around, I will look into everything you've mentioned.

A house(30 years of labor in the current market where I live with my current salary) in a location where jobs are available (so, close to a city).

It is different with my peers because with some of them, at some point or other in life we were at the same level, which is why when I think about how much they've been able to further themselves in life compared to me, makes me have thise depressive thoughts.

I will reach out to mentors, that's a very good point.

I relate to a lot of things you've mentioned, thank you.

No, I do not expect anyone on HN to take me out of it, I made this post from a moment of weakness. I'm already been getting professional help on this (psychologist) and if I make more money, I'm willing to even pay for it. I am very thankful to all the replies, they have been insightful, and they're helping me cope with my problems.

I am sad to hear that there are more people like me in this state, and I'd be willing to reach out so that maybe we could help each other in our... Collective misery. I hate seeing others struggle.

Well, you clearly have not experienced the housing market in my country, where you need to pay 30 year's labor for a small place of your own. It's the way it is, I cannot see it changing any time soon, that's why I feel I am not enough for life.

I know we're all just dirt in the sand, eventually, but "carpe diem-ing" through life seems for me to be impossible without a good source of income. Everything is expensive, everything requires money. That's why I cannot find happiness, I am too poor to afford to think about happiness to begin with.

Thank you, I will look into it. I've taken my fair share of meds in life, and losing my libido at 19 was an experience. I hope that doesn't also happen with ADHD drugs, lol.

Thank you, I also wish you the best. I admire your optimism, and it comes from a true place in my heart that I'm sure your hard work will be rewarded soon enough in life :)

Well, I guess that's something I'm OK at.

I think I have a low IQ because I struggle with most higher level logic and math exercises/tasks, in addition to all of what I have mentioned before. Most decent paying jobs in society exist around those skillsets.

My psychologist said I did not have ADHD, simply, and that it's something that medical professionals would've picked up (or at least written down on my medical history) from my exhibited behavior earlier in life.

Thank you for your understanding, I am sorry if I'm coming off as rambly and incoherent (again).

I don't know what those other disciplines you're talking about, and I don't know of anyone who makes a living being something like a tourist guide, or something similar. It's quite sad for me to even think about leaving my home country, as my parents are actually immigrants. And to be honest, without my parents near me, I break into depression easier.

All in all... Thank you for your kind words.

Sorry, I'm going through a lot right now, and maybe I'm incoherent.

Most jobs I have applied to put at their number one request a college education. That's why I care about academia, as I'm seeing real life consequences in my material well-being due to my lack of a formal education.

Indeed, you did not say garbagemen or anything like it, but I live in a country where college defines your path in life. I've been sold that this is what respectable human being in society needs to have for years, and I cannot simply say "okay, you're gonna be inferior than others (Economically, chances wise, socially, etc) from now on, and that is OK".

I don't know if I'm working hard or not, honestly, but I'm afraid of finding out because I probably am, which would imply I am not competitive enough with other people, generally.

I had one of the lowest SAT scores in my class, failed out of an engineering degree despite trying. Why would I not have a low IQ?

I genuinely hope so much to live for, I do, I hold on to hope as dear life allows me to, but comparing myself to my peers, old classmates and everyone makes me feel like someone who probably is a mistake in life.

Asked my pacyhologist SEVERAL times. I've already been put on anti-anxiety meds, I'm scared as all hell of ADHD meds.

Also, a new psychologist would cost me money, which I simply don't have, as I'm living paycheck to paycheck.

I care about salary because with my current one, it will take me 30 years to own my own house. It's the sole reason, really.

There is no such thing as a "Meister" title in my country.

I am afraid of working with physical stuff, I was awful, just awful with it in High School.

I don't know about Low IQ jobs, is it worth it to live as a trashman after having hopes and dreams? What's the point of living? I am already a failure... And yes, garbagemen and everything make money and so on, but I had actual hopes and dreams, which is what is really putting me down. Everyone I see around me is so much more accomplished than I am, socially, academically, or in whatever else.