urban_strike

I mean, I can look at something physically in front of me, like a still life, all I want and still draw it like shit. So I'm not sure what that would prove?

Thanks, that does help to see it as good faith advice. I'd be totally on board with a framing like "If you're alone and unhappy or dissatisfied in life, social connection could likely be the missing piece." Though it seems even that often follows up with "If you _think_ you're content being alone, you just don't know what you're missing", similar to how parents talk about how their lives changed after having kids. Which is fine and could be true for pretty much everyone, I just hate that it's stated in a way that's unfalsifiable. That if you think differently you're just fooling yourself, and you'll change your mind once you do it.

I've found a lot of those assertions about how to live a "great" life (often based on societal averages about life expectancy) don't fit my actual subjective experience, and I had to spend years doing all the "right things" in life and wondering why it wasn't fulfilling for me. Similar to the sibling comment, it's been liberating to stop taking that type of advice as applicable to me, but that means it jumps out at me everywhere now, hah.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I'm approaching my 40's, have had partners, lived with them for years, good relationship with family, never been burned or damaged socially. Those things just still never seemed as central or necessary to me as they apparently are for others.

Yeah, I've been trying to wrap my head around this recently. I always get a bit irked by the inevitable comments confidently asserting things like "humans are social animals, if you think you don't need tight social connections you're just hurting yourself". And then pointing to these results averaged out over the entire population as "proof".

It seems like there's got to be some statistical fallacy being made, like asserting "all humans need visual stimulation to survive" and then all the blind people on earth shrug at the data and realize they're not human I guess? On average it's true, "all humans" would go crazy if deprived of their sight, but it turns out some people do it just fine and can have rich, human lives.

I wonder if it's just when people live very social lives, the idea of deriving satisfaction in life internally, to be able to self regulate and maintain a health sense of identity without frequent input from others, is just too alien to consider. To not dislike people, or lack social skills, but just be as disinterested in socializing as I am in starting a coin collection. Or maybe all that is just extremely uncommon and experiences like mine are just a true rounding error.

I've seen that in some cases the definition of mental health will explicitly score against things like "lacks close relationships" or "does not seek companionship". So it always seems to me a bit circular to just assert "being more social is more mentally healthy" when the definition of mental health bakes in "being very social".

If I were to define mental health to include "desires and enjoys spending lengths of time in solitude", then I could assert "Humans as a species crave solitude, mental health is shown to directly correlate with the drive and ability to be alone."

Another vote for a folding stand + separate keyboard and mouse at desk-level. I'm always working outside the house, and once you can adjust to working on a single monitor it's been great ergonomically.

> They can't fight or flight so their defense is toxins.

The very next sentence.

Animals can run away or fight, so they don't have the need to develop other deterrents. I guess aside from a very few exceptions like Amazonian frogs, which would also not be recommended to eat without very special processing. Probably best to keep off the menu altogether, just like most seeds, stems, and leaves for the reasons described in the parent comment.

For what it's worth, I had a similar experience trying a strict AIP diet for a few months - some improvements in my autoimmune symptoms (some psorasis I've had since childhood), but nothing definitive. When I tried a strict carnviore diet, basically cutting out the vegetable and fruits allowed on AIP, my existing patches of psoriasis disappeared over a few weeks, and no new ones appeared.

Since then I've gone on and off of strict carnivore, but anytime I reintroduce vegetables and/or some other carb sources, I'll start to see new patches of psoriasis pop back up within a 2 or 3 weeks usually. So I usually balance on that line now, returning to carnivore if my symptoms start to bother me too much.

> I have a hard time to see any relevance in a life without children anymore.

In my view, having kids is a great way to take off the existential pressure of life being meaningless, by just having a default "do it for them" answer to every single question or hardship in life. And what then will give your child's life such a straightforward meaning? Well, just have kids of their own I guess, and their kids the same, all the way down, forever.

It always seems like a bit of a cop out to me. "Life is empty and meaningless, so I'll just have kids, let that fill up all my time, and maybe they can figure it out." I suppose that could be the history of humanity in a nutshell.

I think appetite itself has a lot to do with the nutritional density of what you're eating. I can eat 1000kcal of gummy worms and just be getting started, but 1000kcal of ground beef and I can't look at food for a few hours. Or in other words, it seems like your body will keep giving you hunger-signals regardless of volume, until it gets what it needs (e.g. protein, minerals, vitamins).

I stumbled on this kayak "where can I travel?" map a few months back and it's been handy as a starting point: https://www.kayak.com/travel-restrictions

I personally always double-check another source before booking anything to be safe (e.g. government site), but it's nice to have it all in one place.

I'm not really one for parties or restaurants, but I really enjoyed the walkability of San Francisco when I lived there. It's something that I always miss anytime I'm staying in a more suburban/rural area, having to deal with a car to run any errands, grab a coffee, or meet up with friends.

I think your teenage pregnancy example is probably reasonable, I could see that being a big turning point in a mother's life, where things began getting tougher/worse.

I guess my point is that even if it's clearly an individual-failure, how long should that condemn her to a life of struggle and hardship, let alone her children? If one step off the straight-and-narrow in society means that you need to beat incredible odds to make it back onto the happy-path, we need to work to make that easier to do. Regardless of whether you fell off that path by your own actions today, last week, or decades ago when you were a child.

I'd want to live a society where those struggling get repeated lifelines and assistance to help find some stability. I guess I don't see what the other option is; I don't think we can just give up and let them (and their children, and their children's children...) struggle and fail forever. Even if that means that they need more support/attention than the average citizen for however long it takes.

I'd agree that it's not fully solvable by the school alone. But zooming out, I'd be inclined to say the "society that forced a mother to work 3 jobs to get by" failed. I imagine it's hard to give each child individual attention/care when you're spread that thin, hence being essentially forced to offload chunks of that parenting-responsibility onto institutions.

Which is a much larger and harder issue than a failure of individual responsibility. But it seems like that's the more foundational issue as far as I can tell.

Longer on average, yes, but I highly doubt healthier. I think we'd be in awe of the average health/fitness of a 30 year old hunter gatherer from 100,000 years ago, compared with the average corresponding human in modern times.

I think I'd be in the market for a new cult leader if they tried to pull that!

Seriously. If a group of vampires have been sucking so much blood that everyone's anemic, the solution isn't to have "universal basic transfusions" to make sure all the victims aren't tapped out and die when the next extraction rolls around.

Flowers aren't consumed for survival, i.e. "essential". I'm not sure how intervals of time has any effect on that.

> Beyond Meat has never claimed to be a healthier alternative to meat and it's a bit of a straw man to comment like they did.

Not sure why you'd think that's a straw man when they explicitly state it on their website. First sentence on their Products page:

"Imagine your favorite meaty dishes like burgers and tacos delivering the juicy, delicious taste you know and love, while being better for you and the planet." [0]

[0] https://www.beyondmeat.com/products/

I mean, RxBars are full of dates, which are basically pure sugar.

One thing that stuck out to me was you mentioned needing 10 more years of work to reach your early retirement goals. That sounds like a really long time to me, considering how negative your experience is with working.

If you get your savings rate up to 75-80%, it shouldn't take you more than a few years to earn your freedom for life, even if it's a fairly modest existence.

For what it's worth, that's my plan. Save another 2-3 years then retire to live frugally (in US or abroad) on about $20-24k a year, 3-3.5% withdrawal rate.

Having to hang in there for 2-3 years can be rough at times, but 10 years would be crushing.

> I know people who think automatic transmissions makes people worse drivers.

Well, it's certainly a bit trickier to to respond to texts or browse instagram when you need two hands to operate the vehicle.

I think it's a pretty huge point that's overlooked, not just a quibble.

If a group of kids were fed healthy, home-made meals all week and then get a piece of chocolate cake on Sunday night, it's clearly misleading to say "100% of these children were raised on chocolate cake!".

There's a lot more to achieving good health than macronutrient ratios.

The plant-alternatives both 1) lack the abundant, bioavailable nutrients found in animal products and 2) include a lot of highly-processed and inflammatory ingredients like seed oils.

And I think you're underselling beef by calling it an "okay" food. The meat we get from cows and other ruminants (and particularly organ meats like liver) are among THE most nutrient-dense and bioavilable foods available to humans.

Unfortunately chicken, like pork, is extremely high in omega-6 due to being fed unnatural modern grain-based diets.

> the typical meat based, western diet is strongly linked to all of our most deadly diseases

The standard American diet is composed of 70% plant-based foods, which is the same ratio found in the Mediterranean diet which is lauded as one of the most healthful.

It's not the meat that's causing the issues, it's the processed plant foods and plant-derived oils that destroy one's health on a western diet. Or in other words, the horrible food quality. Any diet that doesn't include processed plant foods and oils will be an improvement from one that does, regardless of whether it includes meat.

That's certainly been my experience. Relationships and friendships tend to fall apart if one of them is emotionally self-sufficient. The core relationship-driver of emotional neediness and desire that's apparently the natural state for many appears to be both the glue that binds and the carrot to actually bother building relationships in the first place.