renaebair

In one sentence you summed up what took me 10 paragraphs to explain. :)

I'll give a couple more examples: I consider myself to have very liberal political views. My father is a strict honest to god Republican and teetering Tea Party sympathizer. In order to be able to better understand his point of view, I have a button on my car radio set to his Republican political station. Every now and then I listen to it, even though I despise it. But I get a little glimpse into what he believes in, and what he's listening to it. Personally, I couldn't care less what the right-wing nut jobs are ranting about, but I do care about being able to communicate with my Dad about his interests.

Another: a good friend is a very talented amateur photographer. I know nothing about photography and it is not a personal interest of my own. But since my friend started learning, I ask him questions about the cameras he is buying, and the specs on each, the techniques he is practicing, etc. Because of this, my friend gets to share a really important part of his life with me, and I get to learn new things about photography and gain a certain appreciation for that art and the work that goes into it.

Take the husband/wife element out of my article. What it boils down to is opening our minds to things outside of our own spectrum. In turn, it makes the other person feel valued that you take the time to understand some basics about what they love.

I'm not suggesting that a programer's spouse should drop his/her career and become a programmer. But knowing enough to be able to hold some conversation with him/her and to be able to relate with them on some level shows that you're willing to step outside yourself, and think about what's important to the other person. I think we do this all the time in our relationships - we try to relate to our SO constantly. But programming seems to be one of those interests that are just avoided altogether in many cases.

When I met Adam, we had very few similar interests. I was a political science and philosophy major. Very social, nature-loving, etc. He was programming, hacking phone lines and owning at video games from a young age. When Adam introduced himself, my computer at the time was a Packard Bell 486 and I remember asking Adam if he could put Windows 98 on it so I could try to play a couple video games with him. He laughed at me, and simply said, "Nope, that's not going to work." :) I was never in the D&D or computer nerd crowd growing up. My small town Maine school was focused strictly on athletics. The most I had used a computer was to send aim messages to my HS boyfriend while he was at college. My own geekery really only started because I took the time to listen to Adam and pay attention to what he was doing. I was able to see how much fun he was having with his hobbies, and I wanted to be a part of that. My interests grew over time, but I'm quite sure that I wouldn't know a thing about programming, or the Ruby ecosystem today if I didn't make an effort to be engaged in his personal interests, even though they were so foreign to me at the time.

I just edited the blog post for clarity: Sean was working for another company when he first learned Obj-C. I don't think he specified that in his post initially, because it probably seemed so obvious (to him) that something like that would never happen at Intridea. :)

I can promise you that I didn't downvote you! Not my style :)

Maybe hard to believe, but the three people I interviewed for the article were really that in love with their iPads. Maggie (QA) actually came to me with the idea for the article, because she wanted to talk about how she was using it professionally. So I got a couple people together that were also using it for work to give their opinions as well. But I do wish now I had tried to balance out the article with more opinions. Another guy at our company came out with a post on his personal blog last week, in favor of the kindle over the iPad, and I should have asked him to contribute to the article!

Thanks for reading though, I really enjoy the feedback!