And then, if you are doing anything full stack or have a middleware/backend-for-frontend, for god's sake, look into tRPC and let your mind be blown.
Putting these two together, in a simple vite project (no full stack "framework" needed"), it will seriously just change the way you look at data, loading, and API interactions.
It just feels somewhat like the OP's problems with React are all skill issues and a lack of desire to explore and learn correctly.