58 karma · joined August 9, 2013
I generally have a hard time connecting with people like OP but found that I was able to find good climbing partners outside as opposed to in the gym.
I now do crossfit and while I know it's not for everyone, it's a decent community. I still don't talk to folks in the gym, I don't want to but I like that we're all in it together and pushing ourselves pretty hard. I feel connected in that way.
I would really not like a stranger tapping me on the shoulder in the gym. That's my "alone time". That's just me though.
For the last few years or so (I'm 33, also a software engineer) I've noticed a pretty big decline in my mental state. I can't focus. I immediately forget what I just looked at, read or did. I completely zone out when people talk to me. I am just not present in any situation. What is strange is that I can actually notice it, not in real-time however. It's been worrying me for the last few months so much so that I started meditating which I've never done before. My wife mentioned seeing a therapist because she thought maybe I was depressed so I scheduled an appointment but it's been rescheduled due to the virus.
I keep hearing about other programmers experiencing similar issues (yourself included) and I wonder if the nature of what we do somehow damages our brain in some capacity and we just don't know it yet. Obviously Lee's case is different but it's certainly scary. I hope he doesn't suffer as well.
But this one time, I had a job interview in DC and my wife and I were at a bar enjoying drinks/dinner. Out of no where this young woman sat next to me and started talking to me. I was extremely uncomfortable/awkward at first but she asked what I did and I replied that I'm a software engineer. She immediately responded with "I work for the Chamber of Commerce." This naturally triggered a conversation about software copyright laws and SOPA. It was the most enlightening conversation that I've ever had with a stranger. While we had different opinions, it was very civil and pleasant. My wife was jealous since I was talking to this woman for so long but it wasn't about her, it was about the conversation. I generally go out of my way to avoid these interactions but I was so shocked how it turned out, once I got over the anxiety of talking to a stranger.
We know no one and we aren't going to start knocking on doors to introduce ourselves. We're not nearly that outgoing. However, it would be nice to meet people and hang out here and there. We're in our late 20's so it's hard to find people around our age in a similar situation. We can't really go to bars to meet up or go to concerts or pretty much any thing we used to do a year ago.
An app that could get people to meet up in these situations could be useful, but would I use it? Eh. I don't know.
I do love this story though. I'm glad it's working out. It must have been tough to make that huge change, with kids and everything. Good luck.
I suppose I'm just annoyed by the amount of judgment that exists in climbing. We all have our own motivations and aspirations when it comes to climbing. Some climbers just feel like they need to prove something to someone else.
I'm also a climber but this attitude drives me nuts with the climbing community. It's not a dick measuring contest. Why even mention aid climbing and that it's more scary and that climbing 5.10 is for "noobs"? That has nothing to do with what these guys did. These guys didn't do it for their ego or because it's "scary". They did it because it's extremely difficult and they've been working on it for 7 years. They did it because they were so invested mentally and physically that it was a challenge they needed to complete.
But yes, I do agree that the media has/had no idea how to cover this - it's been pretty awful.