clubm8

(To paint a picture, I'm writing this in TBB since it forces only HTTPs JS and I want to get an approximate picture of what others see, then then people complain about the obvious exit node I pop over to a public location's wifi with uBlock and NoScript and try to allow as little as possible.

the highest tier of companies are the ones you have not heard of, or if you have, no one dreams of leading because they're boring, making solid profits over and over while ad men try to so AMC in real life

(still curious how people managed to make greasemonkey and noscript play out, i feel like my paranoia made me miss out on some fun things)

Maybe someone should challenge them to be a more physical kind of test case, if they want to turn the world into Forensic Files.

It's ok to treat yourself, the issue is if someone wants to sit and read in the corner and they don't get the same wealth as the person who let them be grinded on by some creep like the world is the worst kind of techno bar.

(Which seemed weird since all the people I know who did "nuclear stuff" stuck to beer or hard liquor when getting drunk enough to attempt poetry -- you can't do it all, pick a lane.)

I will go back and edit if the formatting is messed up, and if anyone wants the .ODT I made reproducing his strikethroughs, capitalizations, and underlines, email DJBRUTAL@PROTON.ME

(You can have the original PDF scan too, if you desire.)

Feynam’s Wine Poem

Box 39, Folder 9

[page 1]

  A poet once said, 
  “The whole universe
  is in a glass of wine.”
  We shall never know
  in what sense *he* meant it
  for poets do not write to be understood,  
  but it *is* true that if you look at a glass of wine closely enough 
  you will see the entire universe.
  There, are the things of physics 
  the twisting liquid, the reflection in the glass
  and our imagination adds the atoms.
  It evaporates depending on the wind and weather.
  The glass is a distillation of the earth’s rocks.
  And in its composition, is
  as we has seen,
  the secret of the universe’s age -
  and a story of the evolution of the star.
  What strange array of chemicals
  *are* in the wine. How did *they* come to be?
  There are the ferments, enzymes, the substantial and the products
  and there in the wine was found

  the great question: 
  “all life is fermentation”
  Now you can discover the chemistry of wine
  without discovering, as did Pasteur
  the cause of much disease.
  How vivid is the claret, 
  pressing its existence into the consciousness that watches it.
  And if our small minds, for some convenience
  divides this glass of wine, this universe
  into parts – to purpose, biology, geology, astronomy psychology and all
  Remember nature doesn’t know it
  so we should put it back together
  and not forget, at last, what it is in for.
  let it give one final pleasure more
  drink it up and  forget about it all.

Edit 2: Ok... removed soon forget it prior to "put it back together" and "go to sleep" prior to "forget about it all" -- both were struck out in the original.

I tend to write scripts for things that through off my flow state in the past -- generating a secure passphrase, changing my MAC address, running a series of perfectly legal nmap scans, spitting out the list of wordpress usernames on a blog of dubious origins, quickly decoding simple ciphers like ROT13 (or rot... whatever) and a few others I won't list out in public.

The "project" is never the code, in an app sense, but more... speeding up OSINT, for lack of a better phrasing. Getting things to a point where if they haven't patched, it's more of a moral decision: do I want to go into your computer?

Do I want to everything but cross that line?

And if so, how do I walk right up to it as quickly as possible without getting... throttled.

So for me, it's about what I want to know, and what the barriers other than the law are to getting it.

Your methods may vary. (No pun intended.)

So uh... IMHO, keep a dot ODS spreadsheet or text document, with a strong password or passphrase, and journal / data keep in there.

Libreoffice uses strong encryption, so on computers like MacOS it's easier to install and use than Veracrypt, which needs FUSE. You can do fun hacks like make the password a hash of a few words or a serial number, designed to be forgotten if lost or ununused. Fail safe, fail stupid is my motton :-)

(Forever grateful I saw Paris before Instagram got cucked by Zuck.)

There's a sort of person who accumulates a few famous mutuals and does Myspace esque games to gain reach, and I'm forever grateful Mastadon's model forces them offline.

I'm typing this post on a laptop I was never able to replace because when I escaped the above, I was laid off by the last in a string of so called nonprofits.

Fuck landlords -- social media is not play. You can adopt a handle, to avoid the sorts of issues that arise when someone attaches their name to a post in an intimatry way, or to avoid persecution by those with power -- but there is no play here.

If you, as an adult, go out onto the internet to bully and harass those you are supposed to give quiet enjoyment, you deserve to end up in the ground with Jeffrey Epstein and Jean Luc Brunel.

Now, even under full blown communism you'd have had someone managing the apartments -- who is in what unit, what needs fixed... but this is more of a role where one serves as a custodian of a public good.

People who do stupid things like... try to key into their tenant's apartment and glare when they're on the phone with Google doing an interview deserve the terror that I saw in the eyes of mine every time he gave a wide berth in the hall that I might invoke stand your ground if he so much

I'm oversharing, but I don't care -- having someone interfere with my job searh, with my quiet enjoyment, the same moment my family withdrew support bevcause I refused to be an unpaid caregiver to unrepentant child abusers turn me into a cold man who you might not recognize if you knew me as the straight edge nerd who used to read Mad Magazine in the corner.

"Fuck around, find out." as the kids say.

This is not a play, this is not a TV show nor a movie -- this is real life.

And when I die, remember you'd have more of it if your lawyers were not so evil the idea of setting up a key escrow was off the table because of what they did last summer(s).

(Notice how I don't jump in to snarkily tell you it's "advice" because I can tell this is not your first language, and you're getting your point across so it would just distract, not educate? People like me are rare, and when we leave, it's more than just population that Appalachia loses.)

I'm not a robot.

Does this list a literal cancellaion date, or just the date Louis got "me too"ed?

A screenshot or copy of what is behind this error would be useful, as I'm using Tor[1] while I conduct my daily OSINT... I value how each stream gets a different IP... no VPN achieves that.

PS: If anyone from Duckduckgo can see this, I just filed a feedback request years later AGAIN asking you to not serve up revenge porn when I search for material on anonbib. With a B. A very simple, reasonable request, which paired with your refusal to hire me as a privacy engineer looks weirder and weirder by the day.

[1] https://www.freehaven.net/anonbib/cache/tor-design.pdf

too many "mentors" are narcicists who want someone to fuel them with enough narcicistic supply to "earn" things like referrals to non-abusive companies/teams that should be freely given.

by this point, i look askance at formal mentorship -- just be an ally, a friend -- turn to he person next to you and speak like they're your brother or sister.

(yes, this means you can never "date" them -- so goddamn tired of people conflating that and networking)

if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.

had i not dropped out of my phd, one committee member would have been an anthropologist, one a computer scientist, one a behavioral economist.

you can't interfere in the populations you are studying, it is why i chose to not renew my irb, create a new handle, and explicitly write "personal account" on the twitter i maintained from 2016 to approximately 2020

(RIP to the anthropologist)

I am tired of people creating precarity then showing up to solve it after years of running roughshod over this planet.

"AI" is often papering over bad datasets -- you don't have the data to do so much as a student's t test, but you cater to people who only listen when they hear a "yes" after many many times being told how stuff works.

[0] "The Lifeboat Foundation is a nonprofit nongovernmental organization dedicated to encouraging scientific advancements while helping humanity survive existential risks and possible misuse of increasingly powerful technologies, including genetic engineering, nanotechnology, and robotics/AI, as we move towards the Singularity. Lifeboat Foundation is pursuing a variety of options, including helping to accelerate the development of technologies to defend humanity, including new methods to combat viruses (such as RNA interference and new vaccine methods), effective nanotechnological defensive strategies, and even self-sustaining space colonies in case the other defensive strategies fail. We believe that, in some situations, it might be feasible to relinquish technological capacity in the public interest (for example, we are against the U.S. government posting the recipe for the 1918 flu virus on the internet). We have some of the best minds on the planet working on programs to enable our survival. We invite you to join our cause! The Lifeboat Foundation now has the world’s first bitcoin endowment fund"

https://web.archive.org/web/20140228233556/http://lifeboat.c...

[1] "Jeffrey Epstein is a financier and science philanthropist. He is the Chairman and CEO of the Financial Trust Company and the founder of the Jeffrey Epstein VI Foundation. Jeffrey is a former member of the Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, the New York Academy of Science, and a former Rockefeller University board member. He is actively involved in the Santa Fe Institute, the Theoretical Biology Initiative at the Institute for Advanced Study, the Quantum Gravity Program at the University of Pennsylvania, and once sat on the Mind, Brain, and Behavior Advisory Committee at Harvard University. He is also a member of the Edge Foundation. Jeffrey established the Jeffrey Epstein VI Foundation in 2000 to support cutting edge science and medical research around the world. In 2003, the foundation established the Program for Evolutionary Dynamics at Harvard University with a $35 million gift. The Program is directed by Martin Nowak, Professor of Biology and Mathematics at Harvard. The Program studies the evolution of micro-biology through the lense of mathematics. Since its establishment, the Program has made pivotal advances in the treatment of cancer, HIV, and numerous infectious diseases. The Jeffrey Epstein VI Foundation is based out of St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands and plays an increasingly active role in supporting youth and early education programs across the US Virgin Islands and the United States."

https://web.archive.org/web/20140228233556/https://lifeboat....

- Greg

can you post the details, sans the comments, here, as is typical with ask HN posts.

also: did you call the fire department?

they can probably advise you better on fire science than us.

sincerely,

greg

Luck should not be a factor in this context.

I apologize for any miscommunications up to this moment.

I am not "a month or two from losing it all"... but I am a month or two away from liquidating my retirement account, and using the points I intended on a honeymoon on a one way exit from this poor excuse for a democracy.

I apologize for posting when I hadn't eaten -- it's a problem for me -- I skip a meal, let my blood sugar get low, feel triggered by something on the news, and... get into it in the comments.

You didn't give me what I wanted, and neither did a single other person in quite a large thread, hence my anger.

What I was hoping for is one of the many so called anarchists, leftists, or progressives who have hired me in an allegedly nonprofit capacity would connect me with work that lifts me out of precarity rather than give out narcan, condoms, and weed cards designed to disarm the vulnerable and allow their exploiters to bill for services more akin to extortion than mental health treatment.

I shouldn't have been coy: I wanted leads. Many people visit the so called Paris of Appalachia, and over time I've tired of the ones who ignore why we have negative population growth as they sit saying things in 2022 they should have said in 2013 -- or sooner.[0,1,2]

I don't really need mental health resources -- I used the copy of "The Relaxation Response"[3] the last decent therapist I had gave me this morning. I'm good to go. (And if you get that reference... that... outside joke that's also an inside joke... I hope we are forever on the same page.)

Someone could easily point me someplace to be CSO, or someplace to be generic security engineer number N -- my last role, I automated portions of my job with free tools to replace the ones they were paying for. But it never lead anywhere, hence... getting angry. Because I felt Tom Sawyered -- one too many times the football had been yanked, not by some kinkster on the side of the road with a cardboard sign but by supposedly liscenced professionals who treat posts like I'm about to make as some kind of... terroristic threat, rather than a very kind explanation of what makes people extremists and how to avoid situations like October 2020, the last time I took off the mask and spoke in the real.

Instead, we have people who created the conditions we are now, wars, refugees, people with ill behaved dogs and/or children wandering the café like they own it... showing up at the finish line to try and give justtt enough aid to avoid Star Trek style Bell Riots[4,5].

That's why I said and did the things I did. This is an emergency, it has been an emergency since my own father smashed the laptop I was studying for OSCP on after I was forced out of the Center for Democracy & Technology for refusing to weaken web, since unlike when I was a teenager, I'm not a few strokes shy of script kiddie.

I'm the guy they took to the range on Pearl Harbor Day to practice firing a 1911, one bullet at a time, center mass,.

I'm the guy who put my backups into a safe deposit box, then told the ringmaster at Atterbury I was considering buying a gun, without stating why, and rented a Glock .40 because a .357 has too much kick, even if it's one with a longer barrel.

I'm the guy who walked into an open mic he saw on a pole and declared "I'm not an Israeli spy, and I will not be gone in the night -- electricity, like driving, is a privilege -- if you stop having elections you will stop having power, in every sense of the word".

If am a your enemy, you are a totalitarian, and deserve to get down on your knees and thank whatever entity you please that I have only used my WORDs. And then BE HELPFUL, or be OUT OF MY FEED. (The royal you, the generic you, not you in the HN parent sense)

So to be utterly CRYSTAL clear, having type this up and looked it over before hitting post since you don't seem like you're being unhelpful on purpose: I don't need mental health resources. Our new mayor's assistant was tear gassed when we replaced the old with one who will hold the abusive nonprofit that has a monopoly on mental health care to account.

People seem to think I'm literally a communist. Under communism, we would have taken folks like the ones I named that night and fired a volley of AK shots into their skulls like they were the Ceaușescus.

As I said in October 2020: your post-Columbine threat model is broken, we were made in the 80s, began to form memories as the USSR fell. We are not your caregivers, we are not your friends, and if you abuse your access we will laugh when you end up in the ground with Jeffrey goddamn Epstein.

My father used to talk a lot, before his Alzheimers, about working for Carter[1], in the same tone I spoke of volunteering for Bernie -- "if things had been different" and your voice trails off, as you realize it's been a long time since you felt sincerity.

e lived next door the the Democratic Chairman of Allegheny County, and Mr. Stevens told my dad if you want to do anything beyond the county, it's simply impossible if you actually want to do good work.

I don't know what to do, when people who met me as a child say things like "I'm Italian -- you can't say that", openly returning to the ways of the mafia we drove out of here in the 90s.

But that's the issue, we just replaced one monster with another: when I was working hard to replace the laptop my dad smashed, people would say shit like "Oh I had some Ukranian women with no ID come into my tow yard, I refused to give them their phone back because they'll never pay for the car... they yelled at me, I nearly called the police"

I told the woman "You have to let them have their property, you can't just... tow a car from a wreck then deny someone the way they communicate with whatever... means they have to pay you back. I'd have yelled at you too. I might have done worse, if you broke the law then threatened to call the cops to police my tone because I was a victim of human trafficking"

And she threatened to slap me, told me I was autistic, then had a meltdown and drove away without giving me the cookies I never asked for, because I told her what I tell every other boomer who is stupid enough to get aggressive -- one unwanted touch and I will Tang Soo Do you in the head so hard you will meet your maker, and I will sue your estate for the cost of fixing my broken hand since I was too kind the last time I had to punch a nazi.

So... thanks for the advice. But I think I'll be fine, and what's going to happen is that false allies who hand out prophylactics and narcan and the occasional sandwich are going to learn the terror of truly living under the neoliberal ideas on free speech and free association the violently insisted on.

They dish it out, but can't take it, and I will literally get on a plane and leave this place to live knowing no one is going to pick up the... slack... ever again, if that's what it takes for me to pursue happiness.

But I'd like to stay, if we can find a third way.

Do you want that? Does anyone? Or are we going to do it the hard way?

It's your move. Your so called community's move. I'm just responding, as it has been since 1991.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pittsburgh#Demographics

[1] >*In reality*, former president Carter is reported to have made this dire assessment in 2013, during the administration of former President Barack Obama, and in response to whistleblower Edward Snowden's recent revelations of global electronic surveillance by the National Security Agency. The source of the quote was a 17 July 2013 article which appeared in the German newspaper Der Spiegel. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jimmy-carter-functioning-d...

[2] https://www.spiegel.de/politik/ausland/nsa-affaere-jimmy-car...

[3] https://web.archive.org/web/20111130192936/http://www.massge...

[4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Past_Tense_%28Star_Trek:_Deep_...

[5] "The report observed the political state of the United States, Europe and Japan, and says that in the United States the problems of governance 'stem from an excess of democracy' and thus calls for actions "to restore the prestige and authority of central government institutions." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Crisis_of_Democracy#Overvi...

[6] https://web.archive.org/web/20120309011043/http://www.trilat...

I have spoken to these places prior -- they did not do as they promised, it's why we replaced the myor.

I'd prefer to leave Pittsburgh if folks are going to insist I "get treatment" that consists of... listing off traumas to some woman who bills for speaking to me then goes off to spend it on things I never was able to afford up til our connecting.

>I definitely want to extend help. If your interviewers see that your speech and thoughts are unusual, you won’t get a job.

I'm on the autisti spectrum, I can do an interview.

In fact, I've had people question the autism due to charm.

My blood sugar is low, I skipped lunch due to lack of funds and it's raining here so I couldn't walk to the grocer I have a card for.

Keep in mind... I'm an edge case. I knew Vilerat. I worked for an EFF board member. I'm a literal dissident.

I'm worried folks are confussing... the kinds of anxiety and depression that stem from being bullied out of CDT in 2016 and into a violent home you never were able to escape from... and... the type of mental illness that is present even in happy times.

People like say, Richard Baumhaummers(sp?), who shot up the Indian grocer down the road from where I used to get my haircut... he didn't go to Waterfall and have a nice vodka mate. He didn't go to the Louvre.

He was all insane, all the time, in a way that wasn't due to drugs or alcohol.

I feel like people like you are not listening to me, that I am worried people are not interacting in good faith, and that I'm scared I will not react diplomatically to this pattern continuing.