1,236 karma · joined August 17, 2015
Although im starting to suspect my mechanic is taking me for a ride
It’s not fun being in a coffeeshop and having middle age women blatantly stare at you and jockey to sit uncomfortably close. I’ve even had a few touch me without even speaking to me
I’m fortunate in that I don’t feel like my life is in danger but sometimes I just want to be left alone and yet if I go places I have to deal with the fact that eyes are on me and I’ll be approached when I don’t want to
Plus these are not the type of people who would enjoy being disconnected from high society, they need external validation.
Kids born today will grow up with their phones/device being their best friend and pet, like a Pokémon. You will be incredibly socially shunned if you don’t have one, and corporations will have not only data but an emotional hook into you for life
I haven’t done it in decades and honestly not sure if I can do it still
QR codes are the closest thing
The manager is a people manager, not a product builder. Marketing, product, other engineering teams, all need to be aligned. As the most senior you're probably setting the high level architecture, so you're going to be the "API" or point of contact on which the other architects on other teams will need to communicate.
Selling that architecture to juniors involves all those things mentioned, and as the architect you're responsible and the best person suited to judging their work as aligning with the vision/architecture. Senior role is usually defined and evaluated in performance reviews for the impact that goes beyond the code.
I'm not explaining it super well, but its something you realize is a natural part of the role as an engineering leader. And that what a senior+ engineer is, a leader. Mid level engineer is a terminal role in a lot of companies for those who don't want the added responsibility.
To your other point, there do exists teams where its all seniors who mostly do IC work. These are usually high-value, high-risk, core product engineering R&D. Or some kind of DX (Developer Experience) team where you are building tooling for other engineers, but even these teams too often has juniors, as at the end of the day, they are just another type of platform team
Starting up and maintaining any sort of community sounds like an intense position, especially over 3-6 months. This sounds like a “sleep at your desk” situation
I’m more than vulnerable to my close friends but I do enjoy everyone having a good time
I recognize the value in being novel in those areas and I respect people who are passionate and put in the time, but I prefer to focus on the things that matter to me
I’m self aware enough there are millions similar to me in a lot of ways, I’m a product of my genome and society mostly, and marketing demographics work. But I take from that more of a stance of brotherhood. We are all on the same journey and we should find kinship and empathy in that.
I used to be in a social circle that felt cliquey and revolving around status, and would have panic attacks because I never felt emotionally safe and never felt like I had a true loving base.
Once I made a point to be positive, polite, respect boundaries and ignore trying to be something I’m not, I became a more empathetic, optimistic, and fun person.
I put out good energy, appreciate those who return it, and don’t sweat those who don’t.
Getting older was a big part of it and surrounding myself with people who value hard work and empathy.