EatingWithForks

I for one am interested why it's specifically AI girlfriend ads and not AI boyfriend ads. Heterosexual women are huge consumers of e.g. dating simulators, romance books, et al. that envision perfect men, bad boys with sweet hearts, wealthy powerful high-earning men who somehow always make time for the beloved. You'd think there'd be just as many AI boyfriend ads-- what teenaged girl wouldn't pay huge money to date $popular_male_singer?

[Example comparison: I know for a fact that popular romance publishing houses have straight up algorithmic-level demands of books published with them. Kiss must happen by page X. First sex must happen by chapter Y. Happily Ever After is mandatory, etc. These publishing houses make huge money, maybe the most well-earning genre in all of books.]

At that point, is it different from a general recommendation engine of users who like what you liked also liked X? [A thing which I also struggle with because I can never search based off of specific qualities no matter how many tags I search and exclude in Steam...]

This might run into conflict with nuanced tastes, e.g. I would be a miserable gamer if this is how games are recommended to me because I actually really don't like very shiny new triple a shit. Spiritfarer changed my life and made me weep ugly tears multiple times in a way God of War never did, but I don't think most people would enjoy the gentle and tender approach it has towards its subject matter. [In Spiritfarer, you are a boat captain who picks up and hosts dead spirits until they ask you to take them to the gate where they are gone forever; in the meantime they share their lives with you and mull over death with you. Your only task is to care for these people until they are ready to go.]

I wish there was serious consideration that this might be a kind of manifestation of disordered eating. Being overly extreme about your diet can be a form of disordered eating, especially if it's unconnected to underlying condition like keto for epilepsy, gluten free for celiac's, etc. If you're a completely healthy man eating only raw meat, are you seriously any different from a woman who insists on eating only cabbage? I've seen people talk about how great their fasting diet is-- going days, upwards over a week without eating at a time-- and how amazing their feel not eating, etc. That basically also sounds like disordered eating.

This isn't even to advertise what everyone is being paid right now, just how much they expect to pay for roles they're hiring for.

I think you misunderstood my depiction as saying all ADHD people are universally incompetent or dangerous. I'm saying that forcing untreated, unaddressed, undiagnosed ADHD people in a metalshop and getting them to work with dangerous machinery instead of treatment is uniquely dangerous given how we know ADHD functions.

I also am shocked that you have apparently been in company of people with ADHD and you've never considered asking them how they experience their disorder. I mean, at minimum, it's important to ask how to accommodate them or if they'd like you to be considerate of anything in particular with respect to their disability. Can you explain how do you handle people who are in your circle and clearly have different positions than you do-- do you never ask them questions?

Genuinely asking: Why are you asking for a source, and describing the depiction of a neurodevelopmental disorder as extreme, if you yourself seem to have very limited knowledge about the condition? What is your background of knowledge you are trying to use to measure something described as a disorder as extreme or not?

I agree that empathetic, compassionate human connections are way more useful than therapy is GENERALLY. (Therapists that function in an occupational manner, such as doing exposure therapy, DBT, EDMR, etc is different and I do not want a trusted friend to do any of that to me!)

I however would push against doing away with the credentialing process. You can threaten an abusive/shitty therapist with losing their license. There are plenty of absolute quacks, especially religious-specific therapy, and being able to say "do not associate me with these dumbfucks" is important. [It's not uncommon for religious counseling to discourage reporting rape or child abuse!]

I am describing the basic experience of having ADHD.

ADHD is described as having difficulty with:

* paying attention

* listening closely

* following instructions

* organizing tasks in the workplace

* keeping track of physical objects

These are all things you need to do in a metal and woodshop!

Have you never sat down and talked to someone with ADHD describe their basic experiences? I know people with ADHD who literally need all of their things hung up on display on a wall or else they lose them. There is an extremely popular guide for organizing with ADHD that recommends tearing cabinet doors off cabinets because it's impossible to remember where things are once put away.

Here's a popular podcaster talking about having ADHD and needing accommodations, and goes deeply into his experiences with having ADHD and struggling to, for example, go to work on time because there are too many tasks to keep track of to go to work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToBxaBauF4M

If you grew up in post collapse USSR, you aren't of the age where you have to deal with the problems the parent post describes. It's important to recognize your lack of personal experience with it. I'm not saying that post collapse USSR wasn't a bad time. It was an absolutely horrible time and I am glad you're here.

But it's important to recognize people have different challenges and live different lives than you.

I'm likely much younger than you. My parents were able to afford to raise me in a house they owned, at my current age. I am not and nowhere near that buying power. My parents can look forward to a retirement fund. I cannot. My parents were able to work through the summer to pay for their graduate degrees. Graduate degrees are too expensive for me to attain, now. My parents could afford to take me to the emergency room when I had fevers as a child. I cannot afford a single emergency room visit for anything.

> The solution we went with: Get the boys so high on stimulants they can sit still like the girls.

This is a bit inaccurate. ADHD is diagnosed more in boys than girls, but is way, way more debilitating than being energetic to the point where they may be incredibly dangerous in a woodshop or metalshop. It's not being able to keep track of each tool being used, or the order in which to use them. It's forgetting to turn machines off, and forgetting to unplug dangerous equipment. It's turning around to grab something and forgetting what you turned around for, and then forgetting the task you were doing before you realized you were missing a part.

I would argue against treating ADHD like it's not a legitimate disability that requires accommodation. In the past, people with ADHD were just told they were stupid, lazy, or absentminded, when in reality they had a neurological disorder that had no diagnosis and no treatment at the time.

That being said I overall agree with the fact that society doesn't allow for breathing room for people to be people and form human relationships that doesn't have a financial or economic angle. This is horrendous, and no amount of therapy or medication will resolve this fundamental, societal-level problem. But ADHD is real, acting like ADHD treatment is just societal feminization of men is a completely incorrect depiction of the disorder. We can simultaneously argue that the medical system is completely fucked and also acknowledge that sometimes you really do need a surgeon to repair broken legs!

Freelancers in the united states are not allowed to bargain collectively for better prices, as that's considered market manipulation/price fixing. ["Independent Contractors" are literally banned from forming a union in the USA.]

> People who use LLM’s already know they can give wrong information

I think this is unfortunately much less true than expected... Lawyer using chatgpt.. teachers using chatgpt... even professors using chatgpt... as if its a source of truth.

What do you mean "in that very local community". Do you mean DMs should also be public to the geographic location you're in? Do you mean a white majority in a local space should be allowed to blanket ban black people from using facebook?

I could imagine that as a yearly food cost (a little under ~100/week). I lived off less than that when I was a grad student. It involved very little eating out (which this calculator accounts for) and consuming mostly stews or curries.

I would argue the liability is on both sides, not just on the person who pays alimony. Society has exceptionally little ways to welcome stay at home parents back into the workforce. If a stay at home parent's spouse is disabled or killed in an accident (unfortunately common in car-centric societies) the entire family is now in serious, serious trouble.

> I think it's especially rich that HR people think you're wasting /their/ time when they make you an insultingly low offer after extensive interviewing, especially considering there's a massive skills gap between tech workers and HR folks (who are a dime a dozen).

I agree with everything up until this portion. I think HR can be a very difficult job, in a way that's quite similar to say security positions. If an HR person excels at their job-- you will never see them, you will never interact with them outside of paperwork, and you will never need to ask them anything. So it can be very easy to assume HR is doing nothing. In reality good HR manages multiple complex, competing organizational systems (office politics, board concerns, retention, legal, recruiting) and is expected to manage them in such a way that none of the competing organizational systems are even aware of the friction, while having none of the power to actually change anything by themselves.

I wish I had local news. For example if there's a crazy mom trying to get on the school board. Or my local towing company is owned by a person undergoing felony indictment. New businesses opening that could really use my dollars. My local shop had a 4 for 5$ sale for kombucha and I nearly missed out on it due to a lack of local news.

I really don't want to know what is happening to youth in a country that is very far from me as often.

You're arguing besides my point. My point is that I don't buy bullshit reasons how a riskier behavior is actually safer. A 50 year old motorcyclist trying to tell me "my age actually makes me safer on a motorcycle than if I was in a car" would get a similar wtf.

If you drive a larger vehicle, you are taking on the increased risk of hitting other children or your own children. Whether or not you've actually hit a child doesn't change that fact and trying to wiggle out of it through that logic is the same as arguing just because an irresponsible driver hasn't killed anyone means they're actually safer than an irresponsible driver who has. The fundamental attribution is their irresponsibility, not whether or not their irresponsibility has resulted in a consequence for them.

similarly, regardless of whether or not you've killed anyone with a larger vehicle, the fact is that larger vehicles pose a greater danger of running over children.

I'm okay with discussing reasonable risks people are taking. I'm just arguing not to bullshit me with what the risks are. I'm okay with motorcyclists on the road. I'm not okay with a motorcyclist trying to say "no, cycling actually makes me safer because I'm more agile and can drive between the lanes, so I'm totally out of the way of cars now!"

Julian Evans isn't obligated to welcome people who wish her harm or want to make her life worse by arguing in bad faith. No one is obligated to welcome people who treat them poorly. I don't care if someone is hurt by my blocking them if they shout slurs at me, for example, and I don't think I should be morally obligated to consider if someone had their feelings hurt by ostracized for shouting slurs at people.

By this logic, because I haven't killed anyone drunk driving, I should be allowed to drive drunk.

No, it's important to point out hard facts here: by driving a car with less visibility, you become more dangerous to your family and your neighborhood. You don't even protect your family, because you've now entered a vehicle significantly more likely to flip over in an accident-- which you are now more likely to have because you bought a vehicle with reduced capacity to see what is in front of you.

Your choice is your choice-- but it's important not to lie to yourself or others about what that choice entails.

These cars are more likely to kill your children by running over them as they cross the street. You are more likely to kill your neighbor's kids by running over them because you don't have visibility 6+ feet in front of you. This isn't some sort of wish-washy definition. These are hard to swallow facts.

I don't know, I think there are some exceptions to this. It's very difficult to play dumb when a friend confides in you about their concerns getting an IUD in certain political landscapes. During the height of covid, more than one asian friend asked me to be around them in public due to the rise of anti-asian sentiment in my country, and it would've been wildly inappropriate for me to play dumb then. Most recently more than one non-feminine woman friend have asked me for the same due to anti-transgender rhetoric (I've had one confide in me a harrowing experience getting harassed by someone assuming she was transgender... she's just skinny with a short haircut).

Please reconsider this notion that it's rare for women to have fulfillment in life without children. It's really hurtful to women who have trouble conceiving or have had miscarriages (miscarriages are shockingly common) to have the added societal pressure.

I hope you never express this attitude within earshot of a woman who is experiencing reproductive pain in her life.

It's weird you simultaneously say "its a woman's prerogative to decide not to be a wife or a mother" but also describe them as "...who listen to propaganda.." or "...the prevailing winds should whisper into a woman's ear...". Does she get to make her own decisions, fully educated on what is right for her, or does she not?

I never said pregnancy is a disease, or that motherhood is a drag. I said I've spoken with mothers who have said motherhood should be uncoerced. I said I know women who have chosen not to have children and have needed to escape verbal abuse from people who pressure them, and I hope the ability to have children without a woman involved will societally lessen the pressure women have to be mothers. I want the only people who are mothers are people who want to be mothers, not people who feel that just because they are a woman they must also become a mother. This leads to really painful, desperately sad places psychologically for women who are infertile, have miscarriages, or lose their fertility through the natural aging process.

There's nothing wrong with people who do want children! I just want to support women who also choose not to have children.

I think describing motherhood as "the most sublime fulfilment of their biological design and destiny" is the sort of language many women I know to be extremely toxic to them. Especially women I know who are infertile, struggled to have children, or have lost children to miscarriage. Please reconsider this. Women are much more than their fertility on every level-- biologically and otherwise!

Additionally, I never called motherhood a disease or disorder to be eliminated. I only said I hoped the pressure on women to be mothers would lessen! You seem to be projecting here.

> You should ask the mothers you know how they feel about that? The majority (i'd say the vast majority), consider motherhood the most important and best thing in their lives.

Yes, I know many women of my age. They feel really, really pressured to be mothers even when they don't want to be. Several women I know literally had to cut people out of their lives due to verbal abuse trying to pressure them to be mothers! Every mother I know also has expressed how exhausting motherhood is and emphasized how it should be an entirely uncoerced choice.

How many women do you speak to casually about this sort of thing?