I like this. Both for the astute problem identification and the self-empowered solution.
176 karma · joined December 11, 2017
I've tried using my OpenAI subscription directly to use GPT4, but copy-pasting between the browser and the lack of context (that GPT has of my code) is limiting.
I've tried Copilot, but it just produces large amounts of junk code, and it gets irritating.
JetBrain's AI Assistant is built into the IDE I use, it melds well with all the pre-existing coding assistance it offers, the conversation interface is useful and can answer questions on specific parts of code (I habitually highlight whatever I'm interested in and ask it about that), and it's good when I ask it to write tests.
I always wanted devdocs to work (long train journeys especially would suddenly be more fun) but after this happened a couple of times and I couldn't figure it out or stop it I gave up.
"Software expands to occupy all hardware available. If you throw more hardware at the problem, you get bloated software."
Anything 'useful', or industry/professional related, are particular, specific things that he can get for himself, as and when necessary.
Anything 'meaningful', well, you'd have to figure that one out yourself - what would your son find to be meaningful? Certainly you don't think fun, or relaxation, or what he wants, holds any meaning for him. And certainly not reward. So you definitely don't think he should get the message that hard work actually pays off beyond being given more work to do, and tools that make him focus on work, because you think the only meaning of his life is to work, and that he shouldn't have fun except on your terms and when and how you allow.
He already has the objects he needs for professional development - a laptop. I'm sure he can figure out how to dual boot on it if he wants to dev on linux. Maybe the most meaningful thing you could do is let him make decisions - he'll never learn how to if you keep trying to control him just a little bit more.
*This is a(n obvious) generalism. I am aware some of us actually do go and read TAOCP - I have read some of it myself. I will profess that, on balance of probabilities, TAOCP will be a heavy and pointless shelf-weight if bought for OPs son.
Lots of other good information from others here, especially brundolf.
Other things to consider:
You can 'date around' at the beginning to speed up finding someone suitable - since getting to know a therapist takes a while and you might need to try two or three (or more) you should consider seeing several concurrently to begin with, Which might also make it easier for you to compare which suits you best.
Keep it to yourself - Not that you shouldn't share things with your partner or anyone who you want to, but if You're expecting to give reports on what's going on with your therapist to someone else afterwards, It's only ever going to be performative and never really about you if it's private - your own little opaque box of external-consequenceless space and time - then it can only be about you.
They are your consultant - framing matters and, given stereotypes and received perspectives, it can be quite easy to view it as some variation of submission to somebody else or punishment for failure because you're incapable - A better way to view it is that you've got this engine you that isn't working quite how you want it to and you've gone to a specialist consultant who you want to help you analyse and understand what's going on, the context is happening in, how it can be adjusted and then to help you actually adjust it - because it's you that's going to have to adjust it. They can't actually do anything or just tell you a magic secret perspective that will somehow fix it. You have to go and do things.
Look them up - and the different types of therapy they offer - there are lots, and humans have been helping each other figure out how to be OK for tens of thousands of years - all sorts exist, e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_analytic_therapy
If you don't change, you won't change - one way or another, one thing or another, something has to change in order for your situation to change, maybe a lot of things. People variously describe this as 'difficult' or 'painful' or something similar. You'll learn things about yourself and the way you work that change decisions you make, will make, and would have changed decisions you made in the past if you knew at the time - this means you'll not only feel regret, but also feel resistance to change because of what that means you have to accept - the Sunk Cost Fallacy might not be 100% applicable in considerations like this, but it's a useful heuristic to keep in mind.
You will change - and that means not only for yourself, but also for others around you. Don't stay the same for them (expecting anyone else to not grow or change in order to satisfy you probably isn't in your idea of 'good') Accept that, and make peace with your not just your stress and anxiety lessening/going away being the only consequences.
Changing how you feel about progress, and how you drive yourself, and how you hold onto goals (or whatever you're studying and working for) will probably at some point feel like giving up on them or accepting that you're lesser or your goals won't be reached and you need to moderate them - however you alter your goals or how you feel about your goals, you should know that it's entirely possible to end up way more productive in terms of actual output afterwards.
Final note: it'll be a weird experience - enjoy observing it happening to you and the curiosity of it.
Every rebuttal and complaint against this seems to centre around how the moment someone touches an IDE they become a gibbering idiot who is unable to ever learn anything else, as if it is impossible that the next course could be about how the programs they've been writing are all processed and put together by the tool chain.
I once spent a very frustrating and miserable day in the computer labs at university unable to make a program work, and got zero points on that homework, because of a missing bracket. Did I learn anything about programming? Or how computers work? Did the application of anything I'd previously learned about computer science or programming work? No. I learned nothing. I had no time for that, because none of it was relevant. I'd simply missed a bracket very early on in the program, wasn't experienced enough to see it, and that was that.
I did learn something critical though, later on, from a friend: "here, use this NetBeans program and turn on 'syntax highlighting' and check out how it points out 'syntax errors' just like how a word processor highlights spelling mistakes". And from then on I could actually learn programming, and later on that semester we learned about javac and putting stuff together on the command line and big O notation, and all the rest of that good stuff that people have moral panics about not starting with.
It's like everyone's decided to have absolutely zero concept of time, or parallelism, or that students spend more than 15 minutes in their entire life studying before being ejected into the workforce to spam tech debt everywhere. They're taking multiple courses in parallel per semester, followed by more semesters of more courses, followed by more years or more semesters. There's time to learn more than one thing, and space to not have to learn it all in the same place, and a student studying one thing at a time when they're starting from zero is not mutually exclusive with them becoming a skilled programmer who enters the workforce and writes quality code to create useful programs.
Looking back now, I have a similar feeling that I can't recall anything specific (apart from only checking email at 10:00 and 16:00), but I do seem to have absorbed by osmosis some of his approach of almost obsessive application of 80/20 analysis on everything, and I think that's had a significant positive effect on my life of habituating the regular identification and shedding of negative things (I still use Twitter and Instagram, but on on the PC - the apps are removed from my phone). I've actually just realised while writing this that I also still do a weekly 80/20 review, which is where I identify that kind of thing.
I think I also found his super positive vibe about taking matters into your own hands to be great, and it was the first time I'd encountered the idea that you could have that much control over your own life. The thought-space of being able to change whatever aspect of life you want didn't exist before then.
Anecdata: it is probably one of the best purchases I've ever made for workplace success/productivity. The focus music works (light focus in the app) and has served to block out workplace sounds, improve focus, and not be distracting in and of itself - normal music seems designed to induce various emotional states that aren't helpful for work or thinking clearly.
I think it's worth giving a try, and if it works for you then it's worth paying for. The app is certainly a lot better than it was at the start, and offers more options than the browser interface.
I don't find the sleep sounds so useful but a 15 minute 'chill' relax sound was often helpful when trying to get from a stressful state of mind to a calmer one, usually when going home from work.
I think one working day is worth it to make sure you're up to date.
I also found the working memory, and memory information in general very informative and helpful.
1) https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn
2) https://www.coursera.org/learn/machine-learning
I highly recommend both of them, if they cover a subject you're interested in, though if you only have time for one, they are listed in descending priority order.
Given how low it's time+energy requirements are, and how large the pay-off has been, I recommend Learning How to Learn by Dr. Barbara Oakley to everyone regardless.
I haven't heard any clear views on that one way or the other, although I'm not sure the question itself makes perfect sense in terms of actual real world politics.
Is this an accurate interpretation? If so, is it that they're less fearful of reprisals (tariffs?) or that they're less confident in the benefits of cooperation with the USA? Or a mix? Or something else?
I read the article (albeit quickly as I'm on lunch break), but I can't find anything reporting on whether or not the experiment resulted in healthy children, or if they are immune to HIV (if that can be tested without infecting them, of course - I don't know anything about immunity detection either).
It's actually a triology (Xenos, Malleus, Hereticus). It comes in omnibus format now but will not take a long time to get through.
Not a difficut or life changing read - just a good time, with good characters, doing things you haven't read about before.
When I was a junior developer who had no idea about software engineering, I found the focus mode just dumped me into that deep pit of focus where it's just you and what you're working with in a space in your head. This allowed me to get into the legacy spaghetti and actually do what I was supposed to be doing.
I still use it to this day (meditation this morning, work soon), and they recently added a 'drone' focus track that (for me) is to white noise what white noise is to someone tapping you in the shoulder and asking if you got the email they just sent.
I recommend actually trialing it for a month and seeing if you can get into it, because if you can it's so useful.
That said, since I changed some settings to reduce battery/data usage, the notifications for spending often don't turn up for several minutes, where they used to be instant (before being able to put my card back into my wallet).
By far and away the best learning course I've taken in my life as well, I wish it had been available before I had completed my formal education.