grasshopperpurp

I think "little one" = your child and not a passport card? If so, minors can't renew the way adults can and must meet with an agent - similar to an adult getting a new passport. Idk how these standards are set, but unless something changes, renewing online will likely be limited to adults.

Agree with your sentiments about the current process and hopes for improvement.

Thanks for posting this.

I think this is right. A lot of my favorite music finds ways to rotate what's repeating. It finds a balance of keeping the groove while still playing with the listener's expectations. But, to your point, if there isn't enough repetition, there's not enough to grab hold of. Obviously, it depends on what you're trying to accomplish, but for most applications, you want to give the listener engaged with your music.

Beyond, or beneath, song structure, I've noticed that experienced songwriters repeat notes in their melodies more often than people starting out.

Outside of music critics, I don't see him talked about much at all. I love his work as a producer for John Cale, David Bowie, and the Talking Heads in particular. Iirc he also worked on the two Iggy Pop records (the Idiot and Lust for Life) that Bowie produced. I also like his solo (non-ambient) work and work with Roxie Music, but the style of singing isn't my favorite. I know he didn't do vocals for Roxie, but the style of singing is similar to me.

He had a great conversation with Rick Rubin on the Broken Record podcast.

Music for airports is my favorite ambient Eno. I have this part of my brain that notices odd (to me) choices, and some of his ambient stuff has sounds/patterns that break me out of the zone, but music for airports works as intended. Love Eno, and I think this is a "me" problem, rather than an issue with his work.

Unless I need a sense of urgency, random recordings of bird songs (especially mockingbirds) are my go-to for background noise for work.

Just finished reading that article. Interesting. Will look further. Ty.

>The difference between Indica and Sativa is to a large extent imagined.

Can you elaborate? This is very contrary to my experience.

. . . NM I looked it up and see what you're referring to. I'll have to look into it more, because, again, it doesn't sync with my experience.

>Even if it's not most of the strains you buy today are hybrids.

I've never had an ounce of difficulty finding Indicas or Sativas at dispensaries. Maybe there are more hybrids (never took the time to count the options), but if there are quality options available for all three, I don't see how it matters. And, within hybrids, there are Indica-dominant and Sativa-dominant strains.

Anecdote: I've never seen someone suffer anxiety from an Indica strain, but I have seen plenty of bad trips from Sativa strains.

Medical is legal where I live, and I like both (and hybrids) depending on what I'm doing. In the evening, I would stick to Indicas and Indica-dominant hybrids. Since I work, and I never use while working, I use Sativas far less, but I like them for weekends - walks, chores, etc.. It's a bright feeling and more of a head-high, but under the wrong circumstances, that bright feeling turns dark.

Particularly in the evening, Sativas can make you buzzy and unsettled. My gf thought she hated herbs until she tried Indicas. She knows how and when to use now, so she can enjoy Sativas under the right conditions.

Again, this is just my personal experience, but it tracks with my understanding of the strains, and I hope it's helpful to someone.

Your inner critic can be shaped to what you need it to be. First, I'd change, I'm not good enough, to I want to get better at X. Seems like semantics, but perspective is everything. When possible, frame things in the positive (hit the ball, rather than DON'T miss).

When you do this, I think it will be easier to convince your inner critic that you need rest (not just sleep but time to pause, other activities for your brain/body, etc.). Whatever balance is for you, you can train your inner critic to prioritize that over a cruel checklist.

Also, I think it's unhelpful to describe yourself as incompetent relative to everyone else or not. If you are behind some others, there are reasons (most probably related to experience), and if you understand them, I think you should be at peace with where you are. That doesn't mean stop improving. It just means, I am here; to get to Z, I must do X and Y.

Basically, zoom in and out of your situation enough to understand it, and do the best thing for you. It could be helpful to frame it as though you are setting up the parameters for a friend rather than yourself. A lot of people aren't as kind to themselves as they are to people they care about. Care about you; be kind to you.

The replies to this are very good. I'd just add that - like anything - it takes practice. You have to train your mind to work this way, and you need to continue to do so. So, don't judge yourself too harshly when it doesn't come easy. Recognize it and continue to practice.

There's a new musician, Reggie, who is remarkably talented and deals with mental health in his music. Most of his five songs come from the perspective of overcoming his issues/environment/demons, but I Don't Want to Feel No More is similar in theme to Heroin by the Velvet Underground. Anyway, his attention to detail - lyrically and musically - makes for very relatable, enjoyable experiences, and if you're going through it, I could def see it helping.

I'm not going through it; I just love it.

https://youtu.be/JukqFyMo8YE

https://youtu.be/qAqIQScmL0Q

No reason to be polite to someone who has wasted your time and tried to take advantage of you.

Thanks for wasting my fucking time, is more polite than they deserve.

Agree with a lot of your points, but I think you're asking for an unrealistic amount of self-sacrifice. Not to equate film to rl, but we're all familiar with Serpico, right? You think these power-hungry bullies are just going to let you infiltrate their gang and make changes for the greater good?

Maybe you're talking about leadership/management positions? But, even then, you're talking about one of the stronger unions in country and a group of employees who will fight your attempts at progress.

Again, I agree with just about everything else, and there isn't an easy solution, but I think your criticism is either unclear or misplaced.

Lady Fingers is one of the most beautiful things I've heard.

Some years ago, I learned that I'm better at finding things when high. For context, my GF misplace things a few times a week, and I like finding them before she can. I realized pretty quickly that I did better under the influence, because I didn't rule out places the things might be. When sober, I wouldn't check certain places, because, That'd be a ridiculous place to leave that.

Sounds kinda dumb, but it was an ah-ha realization that extended beyond finding misplaced items.

For sure. It lasted longer than it should have, and it was more severe than expected, but new people filling in the cracks by working crazy hours is kind of built into the structure of the company. Thankfully, I cleared that hurdle, and I have a lot more control over how much I work.

I actually picked the job because of work/life balance, and it's been really good the last few months. But, you're absolutely right, and I appreciate the concern :^)

My GF and I used to always go grocery shopping together. We had a pretty good system, and Publix is a great store, so we didn't dread shopping. But, for about 2 1/2 years, I only had 1 day off a week, and I was working 10-12 hours a day, not counting lunch or the commute, and my GF really doesn't like shopping on her own.

We're currently using Kroger delivery. There are no Kroger stores here, and they deliver the day after you order, but drivers are employees, and they're paid by the hour ($12-$20, average of $17 according to glassdoor). I'd like them to make more, but I'd also like the employees at Publix to make more, so getting Kroger delivery doesn't seem worse for labor than going to the store. Possible I'm missing something, of course. The service has been exactly what we'd hoped. The produce is good quality, and they have most everything that Publix does. If Kroger delivery is more expensive, the difference isn't noticeable.

Conversely, before Kroger, there were times when we'd use gig-based delivery apps to get our groceries from Publix, and that was an all-around poor experience. I felt bad for the drivers; the drivers didn't do a good job of picking produce and substitute items; and, it was a LOT more expensive.

I think it's clearly counterproductive to shout racist at everything; however, people who don't understand the numbers don't (generally) use numbers to define their stances. They choose what to believe in based on other beliefs, and they justify them with funny math.

The thing I like about your insult vs "you're racist" is that you're attacking what someone is doing, rather than what they are. When confronting someone for being wrong, it's a lot more constructive to say, 'Hey, you're wrong about this, and this is why,' than it is to say, 'You're a moron (or a bad person), and this is why.' It's also more accurate. Labeling is helpful for navigating thousands of people in our communities/millions online, but keep those labels to yourself, and be ready to question them. During confrontation, though, it will cause the other side to shut down, and that's where we are. We're more concerned with defining each other as others than working together to find commonalities and building on points of agreement.

I'd just add that significant power imbalance significantly changes things and how we ought to attack disagreement.

I meant the soul as part of you that is balanced, at peace, has perspective of where you fit within things, is aligned with a greater good - as opposed to a self-injuring sense of self-importance.

It's not an easy thing to summarize or pin down, and it's kind of different for everyone.

I italicized "soul" in an attempt to indicate that I meant it as a symbol. I thought the context made it clear, so I was comfortable using it as a shortcut, but perhaps I miscalculated.

I think that's more of a symptom in this case. The problem is that the writer and, likely, her husband are driven by ego. Everything about the first few paragraphs screams, I'm putting on all sorts of fronts (bc I think I'm being smart/cool).

If you feed your ego ahead of your soul, you won't know what you really want/need, and if you don't know what you want/need, how is anyone else supposed to satisfy you in any sustainable fashion?

The good news is that relationships can help you develop as a person. You should be growing together and on your own. If you care for someone and feel you're failing them in some way, it should drive you towards self-examination, which should spur new perspectives and development.

I would guess that you and your wife are less driven by ego than most. You probably don't reach a place where you're self-giving without at least corraling your ego. You may be at a point where you take it as a given.

To be clear, everything in your post is good. I just think it's Step 2, rather than Step 1.

>I think some of that is down to the server considering themselves the customer's equal, which is as it should be, and is not dependent upon the customer's disposition for their income.

Absolutely. Where I work, if the customer is wrong, we tell them. Some are nicer about it than others. If a customer is rude, we can be rude back. Sometimes it escalates the conflict, but it's ultimately up to the individual how they handle it.

But, a lot of people are flabbergasted that we have the gull to tell them they're wrong. "Terrible customer service!" - even if the worker is being extremely polite. You NEVER argue with customers in the US - unless you own the company or you're backed by a union.

Could you clarify? I don't follow.

If you have a union job, and you're skipping or shortening breaks, you're doing it wrong.

My union dues are less than $50 per month, and it's one of the bigger/more powerful unions in the US. I don't agree with everything they do, but the pay, benefits, and security (very hard to be fired) don't have a non-union comp (that I'm aware of, anyway).

I love poetry but strongly dislike most poems, and I've always really liked The Second Coming. So, maybe you do like poetry but just haven't found many poems that work for you.

Back in like 2005, I got a collection of Yeats' poems. It's a big collection and smells like the previous owner read it while smoking inside. It's been a while since I picked it up, and while there are some other poems I like, very few approach the quality of The Second Coming.

Assume positive intent until someone proves your assumption wrong. One of the good things about assuming positive intent is that you should treat people well. If you do, and the other person does not reciprocate, you should no longer assume positive intent. Maybe they're just having a bad day? You can, and should, still leave room to change your mind again, but I would recommend basketing people who show signs of foolishness, selfishness, and general unkindness apart from people who reward your optimism.

It's not your job to find the good person beneath the layers of trash. Generally speaking, our faults don't dwindle upon closer inspection, and even if they did, life is short, and you probably have other things to do.

They're kids . . .

>I endeavor with all of my awareness not to be that to my son, ever.

I relate to your entire post very well, but this particular point is one of the reasons I still keep in touch with my dad. I had to overcome some issues that - I believe he caused - and growing up was often painful because of him. But, he was there. So many times, I would say, That's clearly the wrong way to do that. I'll never do that. He didn't have that. It would have been really nice if he smoked a blunt and chilled the hell out, but I think I'm a lot better off than he was - having no example to learn from.

Yeah, that's an especially tough situation, and I don't think there are general right or wrong answers. So much depends on all the confounding factors. I'm glad you did what was right for you.