465 karma · joined February 28, 2013
I have to agree with the sentiment expressed elsewhere in the thread, that bullies bully for different reasons. The only time I have been bullied, avoidance and not showing a response worked, because the bully had low self-esteem and was looking for acceptance from his peers by picking on smaller kids. When he saw that he wasn't getting anywhere with that, he stopped.
For an engineer who is sitting at his or her desk, focussed on a single task, I think this is reasonably accurate. Obviously there are a lot of things in an office environment which can further conspire to reduce the amount of productivity much, much lower.
IOW, I don't think brown keys are unreasonable for shared work environments; they're not much louder than a standard Dell rubber-domed KB.
The blue switches in my DasKeyboard at home however... I think I'll have to upgrade just to get something a bit quieter.
"Right now I'm working 14 hour days and everyone gets mad when someone tries to leave while the others are working. There is no FREEDOM. The whole point of this venture WAS FREEDOM. Beers at 2pm? Sure! Not "um we have 8 pages left to design for tomorrow, nobody is going anywhere" says one of the developers."
is caused by this:
"I don't have the spine to delay my clients or deliver anything less than perfect and it's breaking me."
YOU set the tone for the company, and the pace of work, by managing the deadlines. If your style of management is just to roll over for every client, make ridiculous promises, then foist that onto your programmers, of course they will respond in the manner above. Because you have set the expectation that it is feasible to deliver, and that this is how things are done.
If you want a more relaxed environment, blow the deadlines out by double, THEN start setting expectations for work lower. Organise a company day off where you all go off go-karting or something - no exceptions. But don't do this in the face of deadlines, or you'll just look completely out of touch, and put everyone else under more stress.
The best advice I can give is to look at how more naturally outgoing people communicate, and then emulate it. Ask lots of questions to get people talking about themselves. Make lots of eye-contact to encourage people and convince them that you care about what they're saying. Reply showing you're listening. Share random stuff about yourself in breaks of conversation (doesn't matter what it is really, anything personal you share also builds rapport).
You don't have to be the star of the party, but being an engaging convserationalist will help you to make excellent connections with people. The more you talk to people, the more you'll learn. If you share the things you learn with similar people, they'll get the impression that you're a social hub, and want to share more with you (because you have more to share with them). It snowballs pretty quickly.
This coming from an out-and-out introvert who has learned when to flip the switch. I was on a 10-day business trip with ~20 people recently, and towards the end confided to one of my new friends that the whole thing, while excellent, was pretty taxing on me due to my introversion. He was so shocked, he looked like I'd slapped him! Pretty funny :D
Edit: This probably goes without saying, but if you do the above, make sure you factor in downtime. Introverts playing extroverts is a very tiring game, you will probably need a day or two every now and then with next-to no interaction to recover.
I think this is just part of spoken communication - our brains short-circuit more formal written patterns into 'normal' speech patterns.
Especially in the case of juveniles, we (as a society) should be understanding of minor indiscretions, and look to guide kids onto a better path. Thankfully the German justice system seemed to get that.
-Nietzsche
The whole purpose of these statements is to represent an ideal to strive for. Things like this are exactly what give militant feminists and other PC groups a bad name.
Is the leadership at Github sexist? You can't just handwave that question away and say "Of course it is, it's a well-known industry problem.", when a specific event has caused that allegation to be made very public. Talking about the event in question gives rise to understanding, generalities and vague tweets do not.
I don't want to attack the messenger here, but all we have to go on are a series of tweets which do not, by themselves, present a very clear message. She claims to be harassed by the leadership for two years... whilst defending them to feminists for the same time? And then in the next tweet, it's only the events of one day which have caused a problem.
It's very hard to get a consistent story out of the information at hand, which is why people are asking for a better explanation. Since Horvath has made this public in the first place, I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation.
Which actually makes sense when you consider that he's part of the machine, and just toeing the party line.