"1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?"
This phone is not yours. Don't use it for anything important and praise me for allowing you to even look at it.
"2. I will always know the password."
I don't trust you.
"4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected."
I don't trust your friends or your opinions.
"5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration."
Once again, I own you.
"18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together."
You are the only one that can mess up, I am untouchably perfect and this contract is perfect.
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This contract makes it seem like the kid is a worthless, non-thinking drone and it glorifies the parents as gods.
#3 taken with #11 creates a situation in which the kid has to decide when to turn the phone off, but at the same time answer every phone call.
#15 states that the kid's peers' music preferences suck.
#1 directly contradicts #6 in regards to who pays for the phone.
This is insane. I hope someone can show me that this is not as I think it is.