You don't have to be local

The words "pick your brain" are virtually never good ones to lead with, by the way, because they turn off many people who have useful things to say, in addition to dsivers. (Close second: "Can you mentor me?") They suggest the interpersonal equivalent of the planning meeting from heck, with no agenda, no goals, and no way to safely declare failure and thereby avoid the next meeting. If you want a specific thing, asking for it is better. If you do not know what you want, a) strongly consider whether that problem will be alleviated with another person using cycles on it or not and/or b) figure out what you want, and how helping you get it helps them, prior to asking for anything.

I prefer to be global with peers and local with customers.

In person, I rarely meet like minded souls with whom I can have intimate technical discussions, but on-line it's easy (thank you Hacker News friends).

But with customers, I've never found a good substitute for being there with them. I want to see everything they're doing, listen to them bitch, and feel their pain. I want to suffer with them during the day and celebrate with them over beers at night. You just can't do that the same way on-line.

P.S. to my Hacker News peers : This is a one reason why I decided not to live in the SF/Bay area. So many people so like me that I felt pulled into all the in-person kind of stuff. I feel more productive & more balanced when living in a more remote place.

I can't imagine living in a place for three years and not making any friends.

For me, regular in-person contact with friends is essential to feeling motivated and connected with the world. They don't have to be close friends, and they don't need to share my career or understand the work I do as a web developer. Most of the programmer friends I would sling code with on a weekend project are global — scattered across the world. Whereas, many of the friends I hang out with the most locally use feature phones, have old or no computers, and think Twitter is pointless.

But that doesn't matter because what I need them for is to sit down and have a good conversation. Or play a game of table tennis. Or ride our bikes out to the suburbs and back. If I don't get these kinds of outlets, a week spent sitting down and coding leaves me feeling strangely unphysical, unhinged from the world around me.

I've grappled with the local/global issue because my life does feel like a duality, where local (mostly offline) and global (online) are separate. I'm not sure how to resolve that (maybe living somewhere with more early adopters of tech would help). But Derek's solution is an extreme one. You don't have to be exclusively local or global.

I don't know the author, but my initial take is: loner, work-a-holic, egotist. None of that is meant as an insult. To "socialize" in a local sense doesn't need to mean you meet "with over 400 people, one-on-one, went to every conference and get-together, and said yes to every request". It means making friends: the kind that build decks together (with free beer); go bowling, watch the big game together at the pub instead of at home, go for a hike with the kids, meet up at the coffee shop every Thursday morning, and simply help and grow together. Its not work. Its natural. Fun. Community. The author is missing out.

Let's eliminate any social interactions to pursue maximum effectiveness, then we can finally focus on the things that matter - like programming! Beep, boop.

Yet, not matter how 'cool' remote working seems, the majority of companies (YC ones included/especially) won't seem to entertain anyone that isn't local.

The number of companies that I find who are willing to allow remote work are the exception, not the norm. The number who will accept remote people on the business side of things are even lower.

Don't know if Derek has children. They sure make you intensely local. While raising a family, if you have a company/product that is aimed globally as well, then you don't have much of a choice in focussing globally if you are to succeed. The choice is not necessarily so stark for others as it is for Derek. I do understand his personal preference and that's perfectly fine.

Nice article.

Coincidental timing for me. I'm Singapore for a few weeks, and even though I've spent months here in the past and have a long-term visa, I have almost no local friends here. I feel like I should feel guilty about it. But I don't feel guilty about it, except in an abstract way.

I spend most of my time coding and working on music. And eating Thai food.

There are many great insights, but I wonder how appliable they are in the real life.

I mean, I especially loved the answer based on the idea of "not favoring anyone", when the author was asked about what he did for the local market.

But this requires some "enlightenment" - as the author said, he lived in many places, so he can now relate to human being as equals - wherever they come from or live.

It seems to me it is just wishful thinking to believe most people - or just a significant enough mass - will be able to think like this.

Most people are lost in their own thoughts and community. They just can't think global, and certainly don't want to.

They just care about the ones they know - and cronyism is just an artifact. It's the same story again an again - dozens of people dying is the news, but having a deep cut in your little finger is a tragedy.

It made me reflect on how different people are. If someone like Mr. Sivers has found a way for himself to be happy and productive, more power to him. CD Baby alone has done a huge amount for others.

I certainly know people who seem very local - or very global. But I think that it's a false dichotomy to think that there's only those two groups.

For example I'm pretty mixed. I have a lot of local connections and a lot of global ones. I personally feel energised and enthusiastic about both at different times. There have been times when I've been more "local". There have been times when I've been more "global".

In fact I generally get worried when I see statements like this:

One will feel more natural to you. Like your tendency to be an introvert vs extrovert, or conservative vs liberal, these base world-views will shape your preferences for being local-focused or global-focused.

Because - well - they're not true. Some people change. In the long term and the short term. I know folk who've gone left-to-right politically over the years (and vice versa). The introvert/extrovert divide is notoriously context dependent for many people. From my own experience I've been "local" and some points in my live, "global" in others and now very happy getting energy from both.

Not trying to say that any of these groups are better or worse than any other - but there's more than the two extremes. Not everybody stays the same. There isn't a problem with that.

Do what the OP did and try different options. If you don't like it or it doesn't work for you - stop and do something else. But don't just say "I'm local" and set your life course from there on. Things might change. Keep you're eye out for that.

Oh, just as I was moving to Singapore (where Derek now lives).

But Derek has been incredible helpful more than once in my life already. He is an example to follow.

This kinda hit home for me. I live in the city I grew up in yet hardly have any friends here. I work remotely with people around the world and my best friends are thousands of miles away and we meet up any various places around the world.

Definitely feeling the need to strike a balance.

Great article. After having lived most of my life in urban areas, I married a great woman who has a very rural job and we live in an incredibly small town. I'm an introvert and solo entrepreneur, but had found that I thrived via in-person collaboration at a co-working space or via meetups.

What I've been struck by is the difficulty in shifting. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places online, but I've found it difficult to make new friends on the internet, or get the same sense of camaraderie as in-person contact.

Anyone have any advice on how to break the ice and make "internet friends" ?

My mix is that I sell global, but buy local when possible, care for local friendships, talk to neighbors, and I am a member of several clubs. But thats perhaps a common Hanseatic culture.