Comment by whyimlate | Hacker News Reader

Comment by whyimlate | Hacker News Reader

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However... I think before we judge people, we need to find out if the routinely late people are using excuses to create a cover for a health issue.

You see, this "late" person is me. If I work for you. If I have to come to your office for a meeting. Anything. I'm late.

But it's because I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

I make up excuses for being 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes late. I blame the kids, the traffic, the car, the plumbing. It's exhausting, but it's just easier and less embarrassing than saying I had to go to the bathroom 7 times just to be able to get in my car.

Plus, you don't want to hear that. Do you really want to sit across from the guy who can't stop sh*ing because the SMALLEST deals in his life give him anxiety???

This can happen for ANYTHING I have to be on time for. Like a scheduled phone call, meeting a friend somewhere, just knowing I'm going to be outside for a few hours, etc.

As I go through life, and I spill my secret, I am constantly meeting people with issues like Crohn's and IBS that deal with similar issues, and most of us don't have a good solution.

So, leave earlier right? My body tells me I can't stop until the last possible second. The earlier I try to get somewhere, the worse the problem is, and the later I end up being.

So, anyway, maybe it's not rudeness, but a nightmare.

I learned a tactic early in my working life, not for being late, but for taking sick leave; but it might work in your case. The trick was useful for dealing with those annoying HR types who like to harass people for things like sick notes from doctors and stuff. The first step is to be very concise or even curt when explaining tardiness (let's call it professionalism). If you're feeling generous, something to the effect of "I have a medical problem"; don't offer to explain because really, anything else is none of their business. Say it with conviction and complete confidence; remember, in your case, you're doing them a favor, remember that. If they drop it, good; mission accomplished. If they lack the couth or good sense to spare you your dignity, then there is no reason to spare them theirs. Now is the time to deploy in appropriate detail precisely the reason for your tardiness. Be sure not to soften the language with acronyms like "IBS", "spastic colon" is your go-to here. It's usually better to have these conversations in private, but if someone is so lacking in professionalism that they make the mistake of confronting you publicly, then punish them without mercy. Don't be the least bit shy. Even though your colleagues may not appreciate the moment, you're doing them and yourself a great service. The idea is to terrify the questioner so thoroughly that they never think of confronting anyone about a personal medical/health/hygeine/etc issue, ever again.

Interesting. Is the "go to the bathroom 7 times just to be able to get in my car" an exaggeration or an actual number? My asshole wouldn't survive all the wiping if I shat that much in one day, never mind just getting to the car.

I have two family members with IBS so what I've seen is:

- long painful morning poops no matter what

- certain foods (red meat, pasta, garlic, etc) cause pain or cramps

- eating a meal requires a trip to the bathroom after

- later in the dsy, depending on how many coffees or what food they ate, there may be a poop demon that needs to be exorcised before bed

- the feeling may strike at ant time and not give them much warning to get to a toilet so they have to stick close to a bathroom sometimes

I'm not talking about acute symptoms or if you eat something that triggers it, just their daily routine. Imagine if eating the wrong thing wrecked your insides, but eating the right thing only gave you tremendous pain, cramping, and poops. That's what you hope your day will be like :/

Anecdotal but whatever: I used to have what doctors diagnosed as IBS for about 10 years. Mostly it was constipation, lots of pain, cramping so bad I want morphine. I even went to the ER mutiple times cause I thought I was dying.

One day at the ER a doctor said "lets just do a CT scan" and he said "your appendix is fucked. we're taking it out". What's weird is I never had any pain in the right side of my abdominal when they pressed on it, even that day when they said it needed to be removed.

It's been 2 years and I feel like a new human being. Never had a single problem since.

" Imagine if eating the wrong thing wrecked your insides, but eating the right thing only gave you tremendous pain, cramping, and poops."

Not only do the things that you mention do that, but also things like salads :(. Trying to lose weight with IBS can be a PITA

Speaking for the OP, that number is not uncommon with IBS.

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