Hacker News Reader

Comment by cschep | Hacker News Reader

I always start the sentence with...

"I know this is weird, but..."

It helps me get to the actual point of direct confrontation, but by blaming it on myself it helps absorb some of the awkward.

Truly though, I hate it when people touch my laptop's screen!

View on HN

Big big upvote. This works much better than the passive-agressive method of silently glaring and cleaning your screen in front of co-worker.

Here are more examples of the same technique:

"This is totally my own OCD, but it drives me crazy if..."

"Just a sec, I have to apologize, but..."

"It's probably just me, but it kills me when..."

(Don't forget to smile and be apologetic, tone is key)

Damn, what a bunch of sissies. Don't apologise for stuff that isn't your fault, tell them not to touch your screen. No need to make an excuse. Don't be rude, but don't be ridiculous over the top apologetic either.

Well, I think the reason most people try to be nice/humorous is that the screen-poker is generally not aware that they are doing something wrong. They view their computer as a piece of furniture--something that sits on their desks.

Making a joke or lighthearted comment is a lot more effective than saying "hey there, I know you just use your work computer for MS Office, solitaire, and Facebook, but I care more about this computer than most people care for their children. Keep your dirty mitts off of it."

They'll probably never understand why you care so much for your computer, so it's better just to pretend you have some 'weird' issue with people touching your stuff.

If they are not an asshole "please don't touch my screen" is all you need to say.

Let out a little scream like a madman, "aaaahhh! no touch screen!"

Silliness works.

Or my favorite: "Touching my computer is like touching my penis. Seriously."

"What's seventeen inches and resting on my thigh"?

http://galleontrade.org/news/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/scol...

Take out a piece of clear tape, put it where they touched the screen, take it off and put it on a blank piece of paper, then write their name and the finger they used on the paper. If they ask say it's "for my records."

In my opinion comedy only works in situations like these if you're also a bit silly/comic in other situations. Otherwise it's obvious that you're just using it to try to diffuse the confrontation and it doesn't work.

True. I'm silly most of the time.

I don't think your favorite line will work if it's a female co-worker though !

Well, she's certainly not going to touch your screen again.

That is definitly one to remember. And it is actually good advice, making a joke out of it will make the other person feel less bad.

Unless they keep touching the screen. Then it could get awkward.

As long as your laptop doesn't increase in size, you should not worry

Just up the ante. Scream like a madman, do a rain dance. Silly scales.

Ok, if someone used your favorite line on me it would provoke an entire hand rubbing across the screen, but then I'm a bit of a real life troll. :-)

I don't think what you would have done would be trolling, it'd be making a pass at him.

See: rain dance.

Or if they're wearing glasses touch those with your greasy fingers. They'll get the hint.

It's etiquette that a lot of people don't know. For example, most people who don't work in technology (and a few who do) don't see a need to look away when you're typing a password - just as most people who don't work in (insert profession here) don't know about (insert profession based behavior expectation here).

I type dvorak on qwerty keyboards, I don't care if they are looking.

I type Bépo (french Dvorak) on a blank keyboard, so they know I don't care.

I hate that. It's the same as people starting a sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." And then saying something that they're not really sorry about.

It's not silly to not want someone to touch your screen. I think you should just come out and say it. "Please don't touch my monitor."

Personally I would use the "I'm sorry, but..." approach because I'd be legitimately sorry that I have to take conversation into an awkward direction for a moment. I think the direct approach, while some would appreciate it, is taking a bit of a gamble: there's too much of a chance the person could take it the wrong way.

I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?

Starting a sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." is a very British thing to do, in my observation (and Bill Bryson's, for that matter).

This is what I do, and it's never a problem. The reasons why you wouldn't want somebody touching your scren are pretty obvious. I'm not apologizing to someone else for /them/ smudging their filthy hand marks all over /my/ screen!

There's a "please", it's not like it's rude...

I would drop the please and just say "Oh, could you not touch the screen" and then explain why.

I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?

I'd also offer them an option, like a mouse to point with.

What use is a mouse if they don't know how to use a finger to point without touching? They'd probably start off by licking it or something.

There is nothing weird about wanting to protect your eye sight. This is one of those commonalities that does not require explanation. Its a shared experience: nobody('s eyes) likes looking at smudged up screens.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com