There was a time when talking to others in a crowded room filled me with fear to the extend that words flowed out of my mouth in ways that does not make any sense even to myself. I spoke gibberish and if you had the misfortune of talking to me, you would probably find an excuse to get away. I hated the idea of going to social events. At every event, I felt that I was the stupidest person in the room and that nobody would want to talk to me. Meeting people seemed like a waste of time.

One day, something snapped. I figured that instead of wasting time at social events, I might as well learn something. I reflected on my social experiences and realized that because of my inherent fear of being looked down upon, I had the habit of pretending to understand things that in reality I had no clue. So I made it a point to speak a little as possible and instead focus on listening and always ask questions if I did not understand something.

I always made it a point to be asking questions and most importantly, never pretending to understand something I don't. Conversations usually flows like this: What do you do? What exactly does that mean? Big data? How big? How is big data different from normal data? ...

Gradually, I started to understand what people are actually saying. I started to feel the wide spectrum of work that people do. I started to internalize differing opinions within similar industries and then voicing these opinions to others in similar fields. I started to take sides and participate in debates. Conversations became more intelligent and social events transformed into a heaven for intellectual stimulation.

Like reading Hacker News in the middle of the night, socializing can become addicting. There is so much knowledge out there and every time I go out I learn something new. If there was one lesson I learned throughout my transformation, it would be to focus on listening and understanding others.