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That's the rub these days- don't talk to her and you run the risk of making her feel "excluded", do talk her to and you run the risk of being seen as "flirting".

"do talk her to and you run the risk of being seen as "flirting"."

If this occurs more than once, chances are you are to blame for the perception.

> The last time I innocently chatted up a "taken" woman next to her boyfriend, I was later told that by a number of individuals that it seemed like I was hitting on her and it was inappropriate. The allegations totally blew me away because that couldn't have been further from the truth. I was not flirting, I was not touching, I simply asked a lot about her work. I guess old school "bro code" says you shouldn't be too friendly with taken women. Personally, I think it's dumb. Maybe your "perp" thought likewise. And I too would be a little curious why a front-end non-entrepreneur would be at an entrepreneur's conference. Maybe he has some hot new app idea, maybe not.

This is actually a common sexist micro-aggression for men, that there interest in a woman is solely due to a desire for sex. It should be noted though that some men do engage in that kind of thing and masculinity through sexual conquest is a big social message for men. That said, that in no way invalidates the parent poster's story and that story and yours go hand-in-hand in describing sexist, heteronormative attitudes society has in general.

It's really easy to judge a situation by itself, but keep in mind most blowups from seemingly tiny incidents are because this happens all the time in all kinds of ways to a lot of women. It's a death by a thousand cuts. I normally don't care about one off dick jokes. It's just that man, it gets really old when you hear it all the time at a conference on top of other women telling you that they also heard dick jokes. Exhausting.

I sympathize with environmental pressure, but strength and fortitude must still be striven for. As a hyperbolic (but real ) example, I would not forgive a soldier who has spent years embedded in Iraq snapping and mowing down a bunch of civilians, but I would understand and sympathize with the situation that would bring him to it (it's a common defense I get thrown at me when debating such things). But yeah, it sucks, for everyone.