Talking about „rather dying“ is not a good sign - these days it may be words written on some forum, but who knows what may push you over the edge.
The next steps will then be taken, one by one, one after the other.
But, to repeat: seek a professionals help!
I'm "doing the work" but it takes fucking forever. How are you supposed to survive for the years it takes for society to begin to accept you? I don't have time I am getting older and less appealing every day. I am running out of time... or I have ALREADY run out of time and I am gripped in the terror of panic because it's too late and it's already lost / gone
You can't medicate your way out of a situation.
You can't take a pill that changes your job.
There is no way out.