Comment by robbiea | Hacker News Reader

Comment by robbiea | Hacker News Reader

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Great comment kevin, I'm the original OP.

I value being viewed as someone with integrity. If I'm using this exit interview as a chance to be honest with them for the first time, then it's my fault. By the time I made it to the exit interview, everyone in the room knows 100% why I am leaving. I have already tried to change the situation, and it didn't work.

If a girl asked you if she was fat (and she was) are you going to tell her that she is fat? Or are you going to lie? Everyone in the room knows that she's fat. No, you're not. You're not going to ruin her day. That's how I view an exit interview. We all know the truth and If you're going to make me say it on record on my way out, the message will make it back to management and I will look bad.

I guess this post makes me look like a miserable POS, but it's really the opposite. I've had great experiences working for great companies. At a recent job at Big4 firm, the CEO of the firm sent out my resignation letter to the entire company because of how great it was. It was a positive email, with no negatives. There was some constructive criticism (very, very minor criticism), but it didn't make it to my good bye letter or exit interview. I kept it positive and in the end it worked out great.

If a girl asked you if she was fat (and she was) are you going to tell her that she is fat?

An old coworker of mine had some fun advice... He said if his wife asked if some outfit made her look fat, and it did, then he would say so. He would tell her what he didn't like. As a result, he doesn't have a fat wife with ugly clothing (and he retains a wife).

I value an honest relationship, not one covered in cute little "white" lies. People who deal with me come to understand that. For them, it must be refreshing to not have to question my motivations, to wonder if I really mean what I say. And if I care about them, I am surely doing them more good by answering honestly.

Never confuse honesty with poor delivery. "Heck yeah, you look like a fat, sweaty, slobbering pig." The right words depend on your relationship. You can be sensitive to that person's needs and answer the question they really asked.

So perhaps that was a poor analogy. With regards to the exit interview, I think there is something to be said for focusing on the positive and trying to keep the emotions in check while presenting more objective responses.

It must surely happen coincidentally sometimes. Nevertheless, your choice of adjectives made me think you might have had this in mind:

'big, fat, slobbering pig'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtMU8nvZzOs#t=3m09s

"Close But No Cigar", Weird Al

If think I am with robbiea on this one, if you get to the point where you are at an exit interview then management should already know why you are leaving, if they don't then that's your fault for not making your grieviences be heard. It should be at this point you leave they have not been able to rectify the situation.

An old coworker of mine had some fun advice... He said if his wife asked if some outfit made her look fat, and it did, then he would say so. He would tell her what he didn't like. As a result, he doesn't have a fat wife with ugly clothing (and he retains a wife).

An honest relationship would be where the truths have been told all along. Telling your wife she looks fat as you walk out the door is not gonna give her enough time to try and make a change.

I personally think it is important to remember to be professional. Keep emotions in check because it can be far to easy to vent and say how much of an asshole everyone is.

That said, sometimes a place will piss you off that much that you just don't care. I worked at a place like this once and now look back at it as a learning experience. I am much much more picky and inquisitive about the job, role, tools, machinery, atmosphere etc before I even consider accepting an offer.

//I've had great experiences working for great companies. At a recent job at Big4 firm, the CEO of the firm sent out my resignation letter to the entire company because of how great it was. It was a positive email, with no negatives.

But, now that you wrote this post, I guess people are going to doubt what you wrote in that letter... haha

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