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Comment by jordo37 | Hacker News Reader

I disagree. If you are leaving and if you care at all about the place I don't think you will burn bridges by being honest. Maybe my experience has been different, I have never left a job because of an asshole boss but more freqeuntly because either a) the environment was off or b) I had a better offer somewhere else. In those situations, the exit interview is built to catch exactly those sorts of issues.

I am still friends with my colleagues and my boss at my last job, but I told them in the interview a long list of tweaks to expectations, assignments etc if they wanted to keep folks like me around.

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"I am still friends with my colleagues and my boss at my last job, but I told them in the interview a long list of tweaks to expectations, assignments etc if they wanted to keep folks like me around."

The same. Several lunchs later with him (months after leaving), I also know he took some of the criticism to heart. This is really all depended on your boss, your relationship with him and how much you mastered the art of giving advice.

That is a far-cry from the behavior this article (and the Forbes one) is cautioning against. You sound like you didn't burn bridges and you provided your critiques in a professional manner.

That's different than using the exit interview as the opportunity to let out all your frustrations and to "get back" at the company.

The article's advice is specifically "be nice" and hold your tongue, which is silly. Say whatever you want. Obviously calling people assholes is unproductive whether it goes into a sealed file or to the company mailing list.

For example, say, "I'm tired of filling out TPS reports and I felt underpaid." No can argue with your emotions, and it's not like your aversion to unnecessary paperwork or need for a decent salary will get out and kill your career. If enough employees leave for precisely these reasons, that may eventually cause change.

| If enough employees leave for precisely these reasons, that may eventually cause change.

What i'm saying is that it usually doesn't. Usually the feedback that you give is already known. The good companies would have changed it before the company left. Especially if it's a huge known problem.

I don't see why you wouldn't tell them anyway. At the very least they'll know it's a big enough issue that people will quit over it.

If you're not going to answer their questions about why you're leaving you might as well save everybody's time and skip the exit interview.

I would have already spoken up about it and made it aware. I wouldn't wait until the absolute end to provide the feedback.

Probably true at most places, but good companies can definitely drift into bad habits without being aware of it. Sometimes all it takes is a few managers recognizing the problem.

Say it now or forever hold your peace.

You will make a difference. Believe in yourself .

For example, say, "I'm tired of filling out TPS reports and I felt underpaid."

That's a good angle to take. And the choice of words and tone here is key -- it's not a rant, and it doesn't finger-point. It puts the emphasis on you, not them -- and it basically says "look, I'm disappointed and I'm suffering", thereby engendering empathy.

But if in fact they listen carefully, it also expresses criticism which can be quite damning. I like language that works like that.

The first bullet point refers to a Forbes article that I think puts the advice in context. It's not so much "be nice," as it is "don't be nasty."

It's quite possible to simultaneously be honest about a toxic work environment and to do so as a professional.

  I am still friends with my colleagues and my boss at my 
  last job, but I told them in the interview a long list of 
  tweaks to expectations, assignments etc if they wanted to 
  keep folks like me around.

Interesting. Did they make the tweaks after your departure? Were they substantial changes? Did you suggest the tweaks prior to your resignation, and if so why do you think they didn't make them at that time?

Some things have changed, for others it will take more time.

One other thing to note: for me at least, this was the last time I felt comfortable giving them feedback about why I left - I am not going to tell my former boss who I still get drinks with why my new job is so much better now, but I wanted her to know then why it was.

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