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Comment by markus_zhang | Hacker News Reader

Electronics is an escape for people who don't like talking to other people.

Turns out most of us don't like talking to others.

I definitely don't. I enjoy online interactions way more than face to face.

I don't dislike talking to others. It's just hard for me to say what I want to say at the speed of normal conversation. I write more slowly and carefully, can edit what I've drafted, and check facts too, all before I hit the submit button.

You just need to find the right people to interact with, people who can match your pace and preferred level of articulation. It's not like they don't exist.

I just want to mention that although in general I dislike f2f communication, I'd love to talk about technical stuffs or hear other people passionately talking about technical stuffs. But again most people don't really have the luxury to find the right people to interact with. We weaklings don't control our own fate.

I think a lot of people give up. How many people on reddit or irc who actually get along with each other well organize meetups, or how many people still look for meetups to try and find compatible people?

There is another topic to argue that is whether meetups are really useful or not. A lot of things are "useful" only to the point that they provide certain excitement, like coffee, and then that's it. I mean it's still better than nothing, but converting excitement to productivity is not easy.

I think there is something to positive human experiences that you can't replace online. I get preferring virtual interactions for the reasons you listed, but if you can find the right people to have those with in real life, you get the benefit of emotional connection which can be very rewarding. Connecting with other people is still why you try to have any interactions at all, virtual or not.

I posted something similar to what you said just a few days back although not exactly in those words: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43083345#43085603

1) I would always struggle to interject in time due to slow processing, and 2) I could write better than others because I could edit.

However, this changed / improved over time. And I have a sneaking suspicion that it changed after I had stents placed giving me more oxygen supply. I believe many parts of my life changed around the same time. Not immediately but over the next year or 2, it has now been 9 years. This could just be life eventually connecting all the neurons in the right way, and of course I do not recommend getting stents as an experiment, but I wonder if apart from this being how we are built, there may be fixes (herbs or surgeries) that may be able to improve this.

This is a good point.

This.

I'm a people-watcher. People are so much more interesting to me than a phone.

Sure, people are different.

Parasocial relationships are a thing, later I've been way too fond of Twin Peaks or some streamers, for instance.

I thought the same in HS until I found the right people. Online will never hit the same as a true friend group irl

Electronics are the ultimate distraction. Turns out we really like distracting ourselves.

> I enjoy online interactions way more than face to face.

It means you haven't met the right people yet, and that's a shame. Not just for you but for so many people missing out on the best parts of life.

how do you know your online interactions haven't perverted your taste for talking to other people?

I don't. But I know from childhood I don't enjoy that.

Did any child? I think by the time we die we should have achieved some understanding and love with connecting with other humans by the tools given to us. It might be somewhat uncomfortable but the pros outweigh the cons. For the most part, authentic experiences aren’t digital but the current generation are loosing what is. In my opinion.

Some kids definitely enjoy communicating with other kids way more.

> Turns out most of us don't like talking to others.

But...

> I enjoy online interactions way more than face to face.

...that's still talking to others. Just in a different, er, arena.

No, it isn't, by no definition of the word "talking." It's a lame excuse for persisting in bad behavior.

You can interpret it this way but it is definitely different from f2f talking.

sad!

Why is it sad? I always found having to communicate f2f sad -- less efficient and more friction.

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