Somehow, though, I suspect that insinuating I need extra rest after giving my emotional labor to "plan a night out with the guys" wouldn't go over so well with my wife. I think there is further nuance to be had here.
Realistically, male weakness is repugnant to a lot of women. It is a huge gamble for anyone to show any whatsoever, as it is often construed as laziness. Feminism does a great job of understanding and articulating women's problems, but hasn't got much to say about how heterosexual women can often perpetuate some of the worst elements of masculinity.
Feminism has its ups and downs but its not going to be able to fix every gender related problem everywhere. Change begins at home.
In my culture, events with the guys seems much easier to plan.
The guys will have a great time even if I only feed them takeaway pizza and beer. Barbecue hasn't been assembled? They'll assemble it, light it, do the cooking, and do most of the clean-up too. If we go out for food, we can walk into pretty much any restaurant, we all have money and we'll all eat anything. Staying the night? The guys will show up with camp beds and sleeping bags if they need to. For the first event I had a backup barbecue prepared, in case the halal guy and the vegetarian guy wanted to keep their stuff separate - turns out no worries, just do our stuff first.
And everyone has a great time! This counts as absolutely crushing it, in terms of planning events with the guys, in my society.
On the other hand, big family events? There'll be a giant spread of home cooked food. Vegetarian options, vegan options, gluten-free options. Special food for the fussy nephew who'll only eat baked beans. Some people will show up with four different cakes. Some people will have baked practice cakes in advance to test out the new recipe before the big day.
Why not? That's perfectly reasonable thing to do.
They are saying it's kinwork