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Trust people to figure themselves out in their own time. You did. I did. They will too, whether you like it or not. You can make that easier or harder. What you're doing here makes it harder. I wish you wouldn't.
Certainly I can't say such arrogant condescension ever did a thing for me, to help me figure out how I actually work with regard to gender. It complicated that process pretty significantly, in fact. I did figure it out in the end, but none of the credit for that accrues to those who insisted they knew better. They were not helping.
I get that you think that you are, and you think that makes it different. You're wrong. What you're judged on, just like anyone, is how you act, which here could have been considerably improved. Your problem what you do about that, or if. Good luck.