When people say something like this, in my experience they will not be satisfied with anything but a high quality, nearly visually identical knockoff of the product that they're used to, and, after complimenting it, they'll find some intangible reason to dismiss the knockoff (at the least, for being "just a knockoff.")
> (2) the looks-bad (ugly dark rectangles, fonts, etc.)
You may think your "looks bad" is universal, but that's an illusion caused by using the exact same products from the same product lines as the people around you. "Looks bad" is an unfalsifiable excuse. You know you shouldn't be selling yourselves to these companies, but you have to figure out a way to blame it on the only people offering you a way out.
> (painting a spreadsheet that doesn't hurt one's eyes)
How fragile are we? Your eyes hurt from spreadsheets and word processors.
> the above description in mind, please
Nobody has time to figure out what you think looks bad, especially when whatever the current dominant, consumer-hostile product is fits the bill. Just use Google Docs and Google Sheets, and don't feel guilty for not being someone you're not.