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Comment by langsoul-com | Hacker News Reader

Having to figure things out is quite frustrating. Mainly around phone etiquettes.

But confronting every person about, what is effectively personal preference about phone use in meetups, is quite annoying

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A simple rule of thumb is that people should mind their own business, i.e. if it doesn't affect you / your day, leave people alone. If someone chooses to browse their phone during a meetup (which I presume you refer to), that's their loss; while it's rude that someone doesn't seem to pay attention to a speaker, it doesn't affect the speaker or the rest of the audience unless they choose for themselves to make a problem of it.

I could also be answering a phone call. I think browsing your phone is mostly considered rude by people, but answering a call would be more grey area. Depending on the nature of the meet up and the perceived urgency of the call (which would be hard to estimate for the rest of the people present).

At the core of etiquette lies consideration for others. Looking at your phone constantly while in a meeting tells everyone else that you think the meeting wastes your time, or that you can't pay attention. If you don't want to participate don't go to the meeting. If you must take calls during a meeting (with the ringer off I would hope) you excuse yourself so you don't disrupt the meeting and everyone else.

You don't have to know anyone's specific boundaries to show consideration. You treat people they way you would like them to treat you. You wouldn't appreciate people browsing their phones while you presented at a meeting. You wouldn't appreciate phones ringing and people taking calls while you spoke or wanted to listen. Basic Golden Rule stuff.

If some people are offended by phone use, and no people are offended by non-phone use, then I'd have thought the default (assuming you don't want to check or to offend) would simply be non-phone use.

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