This is a big misunderstanding people keep repeating. You expect cats to act like dogs and then assume the reason why that isn't the case is because you don't keep them happy, which is only partially true. Think of this differently, cats are like people, they consider themselves in a social relationship with you.
If you have a friend over but don't entertain them, spend time with them or give them foods and drinks that are tasty, then they may not want to hang out at your place a lot in the future right?
Also,similar to humans, they don't show you their personality right away, they are very guarded and won't reveal themselves and open up unless you do the same. Cats have a very high emotional intelligence compared to other pets. They are the only animals that have domesticated themselves. They consider themselves our partners not our servants (unlike dogs), and historically speaking they would be right, since cats living indoors has only been a thing since the cat litter was invented 40-50 years ago. Before that, they had lots of uses like chasing mice and other pests or keeping humans entertained,a mutually beneficial relationship if you will. in many ways they were useful to humans more than even most other humans at times.
In short, you get from having a cat what you put into that relationship, just like with people and each cat has it's own personality. Don't compare them to your dog, dogs are domesticated by humans and heavily bred with a purpose. Think of having a cat being more like befriending a wild animal instead of having an obedient servant.