A few years ago I started asking myself: "Is this it? Is this all that life has to offer? What's the point?". I was raised secular, and never knew spirituality or religion, but decided to delve in. I was, however, very much against Christianity and was willing to try anything except that. Long story short, after reading about religions, history, theology, I ended up becoming a proponent of the thing I hated the most.
Now I see beauty in life, and especially the future. My fiance and I are getting married, we now go to Church, we're both looking forward to starting a family.
I don't know if you're religious in any way, or interested at all. I was definitely not interested the first 30 years of my life.
If you'd like: I'd be willing to get into contact with you if you need to talk. Not to convert you to Christianity, but since we seem similar in this very narrow scope, maybe we can both learn from each other.
Regardless, I truly hope you find your salvation, as I have found mine. God bless!