You start off with: "Moki uses Twitter to make your social recruiting smarter"
OK. How? Is this your big selling point? As a guy off the streat, I have trouble even parsing that, let alone coming up with what it might mean or how it would help me (or even if this is a problem I have).
So, thus far we know that "Twitter" seems to be a big deal for your thing. You have a "why twitter" thing taking up the rest of the space above the fold:
"On Twitter, we tend to follow people we trust. And if your team follows an applicant, that's a sign they could be a great hire"
Is that true? As a job seeker, would I need to be following people on Twitter for your thing to work? As an employer, would I need to be following people on Twitter for your thing to work?
Onward, below the fold is a bunch of talk about applications, job boards, etc. But still no word on what your thing does that sets it apart (and never another mention of Twitter anywhere). I see things that look like features, but it all seems like pretty generic job-board stuff.
So yeah, here I am having read everything there is to read about your thing, with no real understanding of what it is or whether it would help me.
How about instead, above the fold, explaining in a few bullet points:
- What your thing is
- Why I need it
- How it works
Then, you can tell me about Twitter below the fold.(oh, and since you seem to be here, how about explaining to us here at HN what your thing does, why we need it, and how it works!)