I've lurked HN for a long time, but finally signed up just to say thank you for this post. This kind of dread has hit me really hard over the last year or so, leading to a kind of existential anxiety/existential OCD.

Everything you've said, and your conclusions echo my thoughts almost exactly. I find myself torn between the absurdity of life and being an sentient monkey in a seemingly endless universe, and then considering the other side, infinite nothingness - or nothing existing at all. Ironically, it seems both of these absurdities have existed at some point.

All I know is that I wake up every day, and life seems to continue as it did the previous day. Channelling Occam's Razor, it seems like this must be real, as everything I experience points to that being true. Until something points to that not being the case, it makes sense to believe it. Maybe if we were a smarter species all of this would make perfect sense.

Thanks again though, I do take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone when it comes to these thoughts and feelings.