I’ll respectfully turn down the offer of drinking responsibly for any amount of time. The best medically grounded advice at this point is that the most responsible amount of alcohol to drink is zero. If you can. But then that goes to sugar as well. But I’m already used to sugar so that’s a hard sell for me, just as I assume it’ll be a hard sell to ask you to go sober. Which I won’t suggest either. If you already drink and like it, sure the best course is to keep it to a glass or two a week and have fun.

As for the “social lubricant” argument: sure people open up more once you pour a bunch of drinks in. I’ll also take your argument that maybe they truly don’t reveal their selves to sober me (I doubt it, I’m generally cooky and have multiple times been asked “are you sure you’re not drunk?”).

Also isn’t it interesting that alcohol brings out the worst qualities in many people as well? Almost every single instance of me hearing a friend having something “inappropriate” happen to them, it was in a bar or pub and there most definitely was alcohol involved. Only over the top creeps do inappropriate things when sober. I’d rather not be in a place where the likelihood of creepy shit going down skyrockets and watch a movie instead.

But what exactly do you reckon you learn from your friends or colleagues that I don’t get to? I have a good job, which I’ve progressed through quite well, so clearly I didn’t miss out on any inside detail that could have only been gleaned professionally over a drink. I have few friends but from what I hear from many, more meaningful ones than most people. Almost always when I skip a party or pub outing the next time I meet someone they just say “yeah you didn't miss much.”

If I’m missing on some secret second life that is only accessible after you sign up to permanently imbuing this drug forever, yeah I’ll pass. Sounds like a cult and it doesn’t matter what orgy or salvation it promises. Sometimes it’s more important to keep your freedom and senses than to experience everything.