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Comment by dangwhy | Hacker News Reader

> do things that put you around people.

I tried skiing through which i met tons of people but very few single women. Tried bjj, no women at all. Hiking and camping groups, again no single women. I still do all of these activities but very few women. I've actually never met a woman ,single or otherwise, mountain biking, which is my main goto in summer.

Truth is that women don't generally do a lots of activities.

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Most running clubs I've tried are 50/50. Dance classes/social dancing are usually female-heavy (The SF bay is probably an exception here). No one minds if you're bad at dancing as long as you are friendly and don't injure anyone.

Haha, they just choose different activities. Of the ones I've tried, the top five ones with a high female participation rate were (in order from highest to lowest): sewing, ceramics, fencing, archery, fitness clubs.

I made friends through those clubs, though, and never dated anyone from there.

"Truth is that women don't generally do a lots of activities."

I'd strongly disagree with this. They seem to be organising and doing things constantly, in my experience (married 40s male).

Most people do things with their existing social circles. In fact most activities are pretexts (or more charitably, venues) for hanging out with people you already know and like. If you are open to new people, and you're a sociable, attractive young woman, you can probably find a more desirable and less creepy mix of suitors in the guests at parties you're invited to, or setups from your friends, than in Meetup.com attendees or bar patrons. So it would not surprise me if there were fewer women, or at least less openness to romantic encounters, in these open-access spaces.

The sort of people that need to improve their strategy of meeting women like this sometimes overthink the motives and behaviour of those they're hoping to meet. In a marketing sense, it's about the funnel. Someone upthread talked about just needing to meet more people. Put yourself in a position where you're meeting more and more people, widening the mouth of the funnel, and you improve your prospects at the results end of the funnel.

Generally as a result of being active and sociable, you become a person people want to be around. You can't give off a 'desperate to meet girls' vibe, so focusing on too many details can work against you.

I met my wife volunteering for a charity. Heavy bias of female to male in the volunteer group. Regular meetings to keeping seeing the same group and getting to know each other.

Single usually means young, so you have to go where the young (adult) women hang out, or do what they like to do. I don’t know what that is though, sorry.

Single has nothing to do with age. It means you are not in a committed relationship.

> Single usually means young

I don't think this is significantly true.

Do volunteer work. I did work for New York Cares for a while and in addition to actually helping a good cause you inevitably meet single women who are also volunteering. I probably averaged about two leads and one actual date per event I volunteered at. Putting together bags of food for food pantries can be boring work, and you inevitably chat with your neighbor.

Counter anecdote about skiing:

My cousin who is an underemployed balding middle aged divorcee (at times living with his mother - cue George from Seinfeld) met his current long term girlfriend on a skiing trip.

Granted this was somewhere in the Alps. Also my cousin is awesome at smalltalk and unrealistic business ideas.

Dancing, there are always women learning to dance and they far outnumber the men.

Krav Maga. Constant inflow of women.

Is that so? That's good to hear, learning some self defence is such an important skill. If it ends up in romance too, I reckon that's a double win!

sarcasm?

Probably not, martial arts classes that are marketed as self defense or exercise rather than as training for combat sports get a significant number of women

Maybe it's just me but it seems tone deaf to go pick up women in a course about kicking harassers butts. It feels like something they would do in Wedding Crashers.

Putting yourself in the vicinity of the opposite sex while doing some useful activity is not quite the same as picking up women.

Book clubs if you like reading fiction. I'm happily married, but the only guy in a book club of 20.

When I was a single, I went to a book club, all women except me, and I couldn't relate or get any small talk in. I am somewhat introverted, so it was very difficult.

I can see this. I am not quite an introvert. They treat me as a bit of a novelty, and that often feels lie it includes more “attention” than anyone else in the group.

My book club is all men.

In my part of the US, you'll find at least as many women doing these things as men. But perhaps there's a regional difference. Women in your area are certainly doing something. Maybe a little detective work is in order.

Indoor rock climbing is something I’ve found to be pretty gender-diverse a well as welcoming!

Been bouldering pretty heavily for the last three years but I have not found it to be a very good place for meeting people.

Interesting. Maybe each club is different. I’m pretty introverted but I’ve found that people frequently take breaks on the floor and chit chat with strangers in between climbs.

The ski slopes are full of women of all ages? Camping groups are full of women and even families? Plenty of women do hiking ... maybe less then men but if you did not met a single one, it is odd.

> The ski slopes are full of women of all ages?

they are all paired up

Try a co-ed bowling league, or stop by your local pub on karaoke night and you'll be astonished at how many women are there.

I sang in a choir. Lots of women and not that many men. Several of the men ended up with a long-term relationship there.

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