But, suppose there was such a standard, then som of the problems you've described would become non-problems (eg. support across multiple tools). Potentially, if such a standard disallowed linebreaks, it would also make the use of grep easier.
I actually really wish there was such a standard...
Your other assertion about "squishy" formats is also... well, not really true. The format you listed became popular due to the data they encoded, not because of their quality. It's very plausible that a better format may exist, and they are probably out there. The problem is that we set the bar too low with popular formats, and that they often seem easy to implement, which results in a lot of junk formats floating around.