If it helps, it’s more or less the same in London: I haven’t found a decent baguette in years (though they have some decent croissants, only quite expensive). They have a not-quite baguettes which are serviceable in sandwiches, and some kind of larger loaves that looks like actual bread except that it tends not to have any crust, only the external appearance of it.
But nothing close to an actual baguette, which is something stupidly easy and cheap to make. And stupidly delicious, it goes wonderfully with marmelade and good butter, which is quite easy to find in the UK. Better than crackers with a lot of cheeses, as well.
> You'd think someone could do it, but evidently not.
I think the main things with baguettes is that they are not as sweet as common English “bread”, and for some reason some people seem to hate crust or any kind of texture. Also, you cannot keep them fresh for more than a day. Keeping a supply requires going to a bakery every other day, which in turns requires the presence of a bakery within a couple of minutes walk from home. This is just not a thing in the UK, or the US from my more limited experience.