Mind if I ask why none of the projects have ever come to life, is it lack of desire to make them more than an escape technique, or is ADHD or something else preventing you from doing what you would otherwise like to do?

I ask because it sounds to me like if you could figure out how to channel all of that energy going into your projects into the right thing then maybe in addition to the escape you might find your difficulty turns into a super power - many people would kill for the focus needed to write 60k words of game design!

Of course, figuring out some sort of "right thing" that's both easy for the mind and useful to do isn't always easy, and finding something in that venn overlap might be easier than expected or take so many failed attempts that it seems hopeless before finally stroking gold.

Or am I commenting too much from a place of not having lived in your mind, and the wandering nature of ADHD leaves you helpless to channel it at all, just having to hope that it might wander in useful directions?