But don't stop with a diagnosis, get some coaching from an ADHD specialist. There's so much more to it than just attention -- emotional dysregulation, time-blindess, executive function impairment.
It's a whole thing. But with support you can cope with most of it. And most importantly learn to separate the condition from.your character.
Diagnosis can be emotionally helpful— they’re often done by neuropsych evaluation specialists but you should talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist first because evaluation is a few grand, most insurances won’t cover it if you don’t seem very likely to be diagnosed including DSM-V criteria like having significant life changing symptoms before age 12. The testing itself is a few hours of tests designed to push you to your limits for things like working memory, impulsivity, and reaction time. (I was waiting for the tester to say “Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention.”) Parts got frustrating but not like Megaman frustrating.
Depression and/or anxiety are commodities in 80% of those afflicted, so that’s worth paying attention to also.
If you think you may have ADHD, definitely worth it to understand more about ADHD and a diagnosis will help those close to you to understand your behavior.
ADHD medication is excellent from a patient’s perspective. The first-line ones are almost immediately effective. If you don’t like what they do, you can just stop taking them and try another one. In less than a year, you can try most of the known-working medications.
Even if nothing comes of it, at least you know. Knowing is half the battle. :)
And note: it does sometimes make you feel like cheating or something… you will have to arrive at your own conclusions. Suggest a good therapist to help deal with it.
Your partner is worried. So shift the work/life balance to have more life with your partner. Trust the team at work to understand.
Diagnosis from other people does lead to prescription drugs being offered. If someone reading is using chemicals, please pay close attention. Some doctors attempt to prescribe drugs in increasing quantities. That is not the path to sustainable balance. Medications are useful in an ambulance or hospital, they do help in emergencies! But they're not intended to be used routinely for a healthy life.
Peer support is best. Finding humble, open-minded peers can be challenging. The CouchSurfing (now BeWelcome) community is very open-minded and humble. Many church friends are humble. Teaching from the Bible is a reminder of how none of us are perfect, yet God forgives, and shows grace, mercy, and peace.
Some companies try to force concepts like pair programming, mob programming, etc upon their "human resources". It works well for people who like talking & body language, but not for people who prefer reading, typing & listening to music. Personally I prefer reading & typing, and that's why I use Hacker News.
You're not alone, you're welcome here. Interruptions are OK despite the cost of context switching. Diagnosis is not needed, you've already found help. I pray that God will bless you with peace in your personal and professional life, and they'll all catch up to your high-frequency genius ideas soon :)