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Comment by bitexploder | Hacker News Reader

Be wealthy. Don’t have kids. One of the biggest quality of life hits based on other research I have read is having kids and not having enough money. Or just choose your partner well. Relationship satisfaction is relative anyhow. So even if it dips you can still be objectively happy.

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I really think studies like that should be taken with a grain of salt. Polling people's current rate of life satisfaction while they are sleep deprived and changing diapers is very different than being 90 years old in a nursing home with no children or grandchildren

I'd really like to know if overall if people are happier with or without kids. I know a few dad's who have said if they had the choice now they'd say no. But long term I'm not sure.

My only regret as a parent is how badly I wasted my time before becoming a parent. So much free time wasted.

Another question I'd like to know the answer to: is having more than one child better for the whole family?

On More kids, anecdotally, it really does help. Especially in pandemic time.

The extra effort after one is pretty much a wash, but I see so many parents that spend so much time entertaining, and hanging with their kid. There's nothing wrong with that but it's not at all how we were raised.

I think there's something really beneficial to just going out into the world with someone who knows about as much as you and exploring. No one standing there telling you the answer or why right away.

You can play with your kid, but you'll never be let's get sticks and play pretend Zelda for 2 hours focused like two kids might.

Mine craft buddies? For sure.

Rainy day monopoly? Definitely.

Homework help? They do that too though sometimes need an adult. Nthe little one is really good at math and the older is a better reader/speller.

When we go to dinner, my wife and I can sit across from each other and enjoy a conversation and our kids usually talk/play games/do art together.

The amount of time they spend together takes a burden off of being a parent that I see my friends and other parents carry.

They are more like roommates to us than massive chores because we have time to do other things in life without feeling guilty because there is a board child that need socialization and attention.

They are kids, they need adult help and input but they don't need to be entertained every minute of the day.

I also am willing to factor that being able to afford 2 children in the city may hint at other problems we don't have. I recognize that's generally quite the privledged place to be and don't take it for granted.

This is very persuasive. Right now I don't know how anyone manages more than one. I currently feel like I have zero free time. The thought of adding a new born to the mix fills me with fear!

In the 20 years or so you are raising kids, probably less happy. In the 20 years after they are adults probably more happy. It really depends on a lot. The thing about all of these social science studies is they can only measure broadly. They are very hard to use as an individual to make good choices because there are so many factors. I know parents who absolutely love it and it brings them a lot of joy, even with young kids. I know other parents who really did not enjoy certain phases of their kids development. My wife and I are somewhere in the middle. Teenagers are challenging, but alright if you did a good job in the years before they became teenagers most of the time. If you ask someone deep in a tough moment of raising children of course they will be more likely to say no. Ask them when their kids have graduated college or moved onto to the career phase of their life and see what their answer is :]

Anecdotally, as a sibling (eldest) I can tell you that my life is improved immensely by having siblings, and they'd say the same.

Sure, I tend to agree. Overall life satisfaction (e: in the long term) is higher for people with kids according to other studies, heh. So I think other studies confirm that notion. Social science studies probably don’t replicate well anyhow. But some do and it often reflects general wisdom as you pointed out. There is rarely a simple answer. Just live life and be present as a habit is my motto.

Nursing homes aren’t full of childless people.

Correct. Those folks are long dead.

Assuming you’re over 65, you have up to 120 days of Medicare and however long it takes to liquidate your assets. From there you’re a Medicaid ward, and without advocates, particularly as a male, you’re not a profit center and won’t last too long.

Most people don't make it a year regardless. Once you're in bad enough shape to need a nursing home, it's rare for anyone to last long. Being sick enough to not be able to handle activities of daily living has a worse prognosis than pretty much any disease.

It depends. Like anything else, it's a bell curve. Alot of people lose their ability to do things but aren't sick otherwise. Dementia, etc.

If you have an acute event and end up not progressing through rehab... then yeah you're on a clock. The gross part is that the facility knows it and treats you like an animal.

Supposing you were lucky to have a mild enough problem to seek a hospital in first place. Older people living alone are at risk of a quickly incapacitating heart attack or stroke, with nobody to perceive it and call help.

Also, I'd add "Be Healthy"...

While there are some things you can do in your 20s to help you be healthy in your 40s; genetics can be a factor and cause serious issues.

*Be wealthy. Don’t have kids. Die young.

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