This sums up the issue. Most people could get decent sleep if they wanted to or even made a basic effort, but their current poor-sleep compromise isn’t bad enough to make them want to give anything up. Or they don’t understand what they’re losing because it has been so long since they tried a reasonable sleep schedule.
> That implies my personal projects make enough money to have a family on. Not true now so the grind continues.
Consider giving up the side projects for a month or two. Side projects are one of the topics where people think they’re going to miss it more than they actually do. A month or two of total disconnectedness won’t sink your side projects, but it’s long enough to test the waters of a healthier sleep schedule.
You may find that after getting your sleep under control, your daily efficiency and energy levels improve such that you’re getting your work done faster, spending more quality time with your spouse, and ultimately freeing up a nice slot of usable free time in the day that could spend on side projects without wrecking your sleep schedule.