I am no expert by any means, but just skimming to your problem description I see two "pain points": 1. Your job - no fulfillment - just money. 2. Your spouse - no trust - lack of compassion.

For the looks of it you are stuck in two places of frustration. Find adequate therapy, speak with people who you trust and have respect for. If after this solution is not present - exclude the two points of frustration from your life and restart, rebuild and enjoy life. Wish you luck.