Second, you have no idea what they've gone through, no understanding of their pain. If you have nothing constructive to say, no empathy, just shut up.
The comment said "spouse" so married.
So we are in agreement that what's in the vows actually matter?
> just shut up.
Yah...how about not doing that here: https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
Vows are not morally or legally binding. It’s good if people want to take them seriously but people leave each other for lesser things than decades long depression.
Are you saying that people should never get divorced, because the sacred vow should rule supreme, end of story?
But, to answer your question, I do think there are times when divorce is wise. I just think those cases are exponentially less common than the rate at which people get divorced today.
I'd go so far as to point it out as an example of why nobody listens to philosophers any more.
The comment netted 60 upvotes...so I'm not the only one that thinks this way.
It's not tone deaf, it's not discounting the pain and frustration that marriage can bring. It is challenging the pervasive self focus of our culture, over emphasis on personal happiness, and the refining benefit that persevering through suffering can bring.
That hits the wrong chord for some people. So be it.
And yet you dismissed my original comment with a cheap shot about my friend not honoring his wedding vow and just chasing a selfish happiness. You might consider that there are many other people who find themselves in terrible marriages, as your wife did.
I'm aware of the potential apparent dissonance with my comments and my wife's divorce. But, I mentioned it deliberately. I do think divorce may sometimes be a wise answer. But, IMO, a big component of that evaluation should be what vows were actually made.
You have more optimism about the general moral character of our culture. But that's likely a worldview difference and not worth delving into at this point.
I will say that my insistence on moral virtue and commitment in marriage (or commitment in general even) is intended to be diagnostic in nature, not destructive. After all, it wasn't that many years ago that most in Western culture would have shared my views on marriage and vows. I don't believe that shift in culture is healthy and I point it out in the hope that if we ask the right questions, maybe we'll start getting the right answers.