There are many areas of disconnect with people in general in what they think they want versus what they actually want.
For example: Money. Many people (men especially) think they want lots of money. They don't. What they want is happiness. There's even data to back up the fact that past a certain point money doesn't make anyone happier. Yet the drive to become successful is so strong that men will sacrifice their happiness for a shot at more money. Why does burnout even exist? Because men desire money so much that they illogically sacrifice their happiness for something that won't bring them any more happiness.
The above isn't absolutely true but it's a generality that people understand to be generally true.
Like men and money... women and dating is one of these psychological disconnects humans have.
The problem with many people and with you is that everyone has all these psychological triggers that are always on the look out for anything sexist or racist. Relax man, not many people are racist or sexist and HN should foster an environment where people are able to talk about real biological gender differences without getting cancelled.