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I feel particularly compelled to highlight that this one above is sarcasm, OP. I actually almost read it as sincerity.

Maybe its cultural but from my perspective this has a fair 70% chance of appearing turbo creepy, especially if you're "that guy"

t. That guy

Edit: didn't get the joke did i

Also get some thumbtacks and red string and use it to create a real world relationship mapping between each person.