I've kept up the calls with my parents, but even this last visit -- the post-COVID visit where I brought my son to see them -- they just don't relate to anyone else on their terms. They only tell their stories again and again, and they take no input from anyone in the course of a few hours' visit.

It's really hard to take. There's almost no "there" there, and spending time with them isn't a fruitful endeavor, and even from a charitable "put in the time" perspective, they just kick into stories of regrets and mistakes and losses (real estate losses) and that doesn't seem to do them any good either.

My parents are immigrants, so I gave them decades of allowances for that, but.. man.. unsatisfying and painful the whole thing is.

I endeavor with all of my awareness not to be that to my son, ever.