People (generalizing here) are attracted to happy, engaged, healthy people. Attractiveness markers are health markers. If you find yourself with an internal voice telling you you are bad or wrong or not good enough, may I humbly suggest adopting this mantra in their place: "I can become good at anything."
because you can.
My assumption from the outside is that Tinder is a hookup site, and that you’re not going to meet anyone worth dating there anyway. I’d suggest volunteering with orgs which look to be supported by young members, business groups targeted towards “young professionals”, etc. I’d look for groups that either have regular members or encourage some kind of repeat involvement, so that you have time to meet people and make friends naturally. Lastly, I think it’s important to join such groups with the intent on having fun.
I wish you all the best. I promise you that there are others out there who are also trying to make friends and find someone special.
Personally I avoid bars, but it is indeed fine when approached with appropriate caution (as would be rock climbing gyms, for example, which are a stellar choice btw)
It’s also ironic that I’ve climbed a lot and never found anyone to date let alone that I get on with as well.
In bar scenarios, you are both moving around and maybe a bit uninbibited, exhibiting relaxed body language, talking and engaging in some courtship behaviors. You can see how people interact in the real world.
Swiping left or right as you contemlate the causes of hemorrhoids is so far divorced from this normal behavior, and there is no bar algorithm beseeching you to "super like" a curated, mostly fake dating profile chosen not for your future engagement ring, but as a sales tactic to drive "engagement". Buying someone a drink is only superficially similar to internet (paid) likes.
It isn't impossible for it to work fine, but Tinder sucks for society.
In my case, when I first got serious about dealing with unbearable loneliness, I went down very dark path of gurus and pickup artists, who basically advocated doing things just for hooking up. I did end up trying a lot of things but not all activities were that interesting to me. It took a long time for me to realize what really interested me and I focused on only those activities which actually made me connect with people at deeper level. However, I was not feeling lonely anymore, so I am not sure if I would have figured out what really interested me if I was still lonely.
I suggest to start off, try a lot of different activities, until you find something that you truly enjoy. Here are a few suggestions,
Outdoors free yoga classes - not indoors. In my experience, people are friendly in outdoors classes but most women don't want to talk to anyone. So don't ruin it by forcing conversation. If anything, make some new guy friends.
Rock climbing - hate to suggest it as rock climbing community is very friendly and don't want it to get ruined by people joining it just for hookups. It is also very good mental and physical exercise.
Dog - Volunteer to take your friends' dogs to dog parks, especially if there is one with good social scene. Girls will start conversations with you. If you do enjoy taking care of a dog, adopt one or start volunteering at your local shelter.
Running - Running is one sports where women outnumber men. Join a local running group. But any sports club would do, crossfit gyms maybe another option.