Having been exposed to the internet at a very young age, I feel like an outsider in my own country and culture. There's just too much difference with others (hobbies, interests, way of thought... nearly everything), too much things I miss / don't (can't?) understand, and a lingering mental feeling that "I don't belong here". It's a really cold feeling that is always just there.

I was always lonely, but sometimes some people would be friendly towards me, and I'd feel sad... "Come play <some sport or a local game> with us," they'd say. "I would love to.... but I can't. I don't belong here," I'd think. Of course, I couldn't reply with that.

I don't really belong / resonate with foreign cultures either. The internet (at least the part I was on most of the time) is mostly Western, but there are many differences still.

My 'home' has become with individuals, instead. Some people really resonate with me and make me feel that I belong with them, that I am not a stranger, not an outsider. They are extremely rare, but they're here; parent and siblings, along with some very close friends. And I am honestly very thankful for their presence.

Communities like HN as well don't give me the "I don't belong here" feeling. I don't know why... maybe because I grew up with communities like this? (I grew up with the old forum boards of old. It's a shame that most are dead now.) Or maybe because these communities are mostly defined by their contributors, their users, and so I don't feel like a stranger? I am not sure, honestly.

I have been wanting to write about this for a while in full detail, but I haven't had the time unfortunately.