Comment by rokhayakebe | Hacker News Reader

Comment by rokhayakebe | Hacker News Reader

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Ok, so I upvoted you, but maaan do you have it wrong.

I am the definition of introversion (to myself, avoid crowds, do not need to chat with everyone at the party, content with silence that others think is awkward, definitely do not want to ever be the center of attention, like to be alone with my thoughts ...)

"What, you don't want to go to the Nicki Minaj concert?" "Let me explain. You see, I'm an introvert...."

I have been to concerts by myself just because my friends do not like Coldplay, or would not pay a hundred to watch Jay Z, or just wanted to be out of the house. Guess what? I always had a blast.

I have been to the movies alone. My ex girlfriend used to hate me for this one. So now I do not tell anyone I date when I need a freaking night alone at the theather. It's my dirty little secret.

I go clubbing mostly by myself because my friends like to go to places I do not like. On top of that I am shy, but boy do I talk to girls. "It takes one man to talk to girls", you do not need a wingman to talk to girls. You only need a nice smile, and attitude.

I do not like hiking, true, but I do take shorts trips in remote places where it would be advisable to have someone with you. I prefer to do this alone. Danger or not.

I do not like smalltalk, because it is just that smalltalk, but I understand society deals with me as I am so I make an effort to deal with society as it is, hence I do the smalltalk in order to find something that may appeal. You almost always find it within a minute.

EDIT: Introvert does not mean antisocial.

If you can approach girls at a club by yourself, you're not shy. That doesn't make sense.

I run marathons, but I'm not athletic. See the contradiction?

shyness is not introversion. Not wanting to be in a group of people when talking to a girl one on one might be a sign of introversion.

It's more like - I run (and win at) marathons, but I can't do relay races because it throws my game off.

I never claimed it was. I'd believe an introvert can approach girls at a club, but I feel like being able to do that basically means you're not shy. Otherwise, what does shy mean? You had a small bit of anxiety doing so? Doesn't everyone? Even my most outgoing friends have things like the "3 second rule" to get over approach anxiety.

No, it's more like "I cannot swim, but if I want to eat I have to get to the other side of the lake".

And yet he's presumably able to pull these girls, in a wild extroverted setting like a club, where a girl is rarely alone, and competition is fierce.

So he can't swim, but when he needs to get to the other side of the lake, he beats Michael Phelps.

No, you got it wrong. Noone said anything about my success rate, which is laughable. I am just saying I am introverted, and shy but I do talk to women. Yes, competition is there, but what should I do instead? Cry about my inability to be a social butterfly.

First off, I want to say I'm on your side. I've got nothing but good things to say about you getting out there and making an effort. So ultimately this is just a semantic argument. I still think you've overcome "shy" if you can approach in a club. Inverted, sure, but not shy. Regardless, semantic arguments really are the worst kind, so I'm letting this one go. Keep fighting the good fight.

You could be right, maybe I am "overcoming" my shyness.

Don't you think that you're just arguing semantics? There's little objective argument to be made when the two of you have different definitions for the same word.

90% of all disagreements between human beings derive from semantic confusion :)

It could be, but his points are rather extreme, like "If you are introverted, you won't be doing this because it requires other people for you to enjoy it"

I have been to concerts by myself ... I have been to the movies alone.

yep, me too. I find there's a huge difference, to do with what's expected of you. At a movie or a concert, there's no requirement for social interaction, so it takes a lot less energy than, say a party at someone's house. The presence of lots of other people does not in itself make the situation tiring. In fact it can feel liberating to be there but not have any expectations put upon you.

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